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weaponized therapy speak - if you don’t know, it’s the collective gaslighting of abuse of women w/ mental health language
examples: “you don’t want to be poly? you must be really insecure and traumatized from bad relationships”
“i’m not allowed to cry about my ex? people are allowed to have feelings, you sound like a sociopath and have no empathy”
how do you shut down weaponized therapy speak in a way that they can’t label you as “unempathetic” “cold” “having unresolved issues” “traumatized” “sociopathic” “jealous” etc? if you call them out, they’ll tell everyone you’re this that and the third. is the only way to do it to beat them at their own game?
I concur block and delete or leaning into it. I'm a fan of "Then why are you still talking to me?"
Because after that, if they're still knowingly CHOOSING to engage with an unempathetic sociopath, then they deserve whatever happens to them. Maybe they should pick better 🤷🏻♀️.
Also, learn to recognize emotional labor, you can get out of these questions without any thing repflected poorly on you by responding like a therapist, but then you are acting as the free therapist which is ick no.
“how to shut down weaponized therapy speak?”
Block and delete.
Generally don’t engage with such people.
If you have to, it can be fun to see what happens when using their own therapy speak against them:
“You don’t want to be poly? You must be really insecure and traumatised from bad relationships”
-“Actually I’m a very happy monogamist and have made only good experiences. I think you should reconsider judging other people’s romantic preference when they’re harming nobody else, you sound like a kink shamer.”
“I’m not allowed to cry about my ex? People are allowed to have feelings, you sound like a sociopath and have no empathy!”
-“You’re really lying heavy on my emotional labour right now, I think I need a conscious break from you to decompress and reconsider our connection and your emotional needs. I can’t believe you would disregard my boundaries like that…”
Block and delete them from your life. End of story.
If that's not an option: own it. Totally throws them off their game because they expect you to be offended, deny it and try to prove them wrong by doing what they want to show them you're "not crazy".
Yeah block and delete. If this is a person you can't avoid use the grey rock method. There's not really a way to shut down weaponized therapy talk and it's going to completely drive you crazy if you even try. I started going to therapy in college over 15 years ago and don't go anymore because I feel like now all it is is buzzwords and therapist not holding their patients accountable when that's what they really need
When my ex husband beat me and cheated, the therapist asked if he was wink wink "autistic," or had Asperger's.
Instead of, "holy shit, divorce this man."
If this is someone you are dating, recooginize this as the red flag it is and exit. If this is a friend or otherwise, understand this is more about them than it is about you. You need to know enough about yourself. It also is helpful if you know about therapy and trauma but dont tell anyone you are dating if you are in therapy or are dealing with trauma. Most of this type of guy that is using therapy speak trying to get you to talk about it , high chance he will use it to manipulate you. Also they are probably not using the the concepts correctly, doesn’t necessarily apply to your examples but in general. I would not engage with the first question, my reply to that would be hmmm ok…. With a look like what an odd thing to say, or just say hmm thats such an odd thing to say. The second example , I dunno someone is allowed to cry about their ex, but that doesn’t mean they get to date you at the same time…Does that answer your question?
don’t engage with them block and delete
Get a new therapist