Over two years ago, I broke up with someone I was with for almost 8 years. During those 8 years, I was emotionally cheated on, gaslight, negging, manipulated, given the silent treatment, etc. After I ended the relationship, I felt some sort of relief but did not feel like myself and therefore....I got out of control. I started sleeping with guys because I was seeking the validation I didn't get in my relationship. I just wanted to be held. A couple months passed and I find out my ex entered a new relationship, he was doing everything I begged for, telling her he loved her the moment they became official (They didn't even know each other for at least a year) then he introduced her to the family and vice versa, there were constant pictures of them that she would post frequently on her social (Her page is public) & they seemed so happy. My depression sky-rocketed at that point and thats when I decided to quit social media to go on my healing journey.
I graduated, got a job, then got promoted to a new job, got accepted into a master program, became financially stable, found friends who love me and so much more. As the days, weeks, months passed...I find out through a mutual friend that my ex is now single and only lasted a year with the girl he started dating months after our breakup. And of course...I got noisy. I went on one of her socials and on her main, all of the pictures that they were in together were deleted. Then I went to another one of her socials, and the pictures of them were still there and I started seeing everything I didn't look at since I left social media. Throughout the time they were together, had constant sleepovers, they traveled, went to each other family parties and my self esteem dropped. I felt horrible because everything I wanted to do with him, he gave it to her. It made me feel less than her, it made me feel like his family preferred her over me, she was the more fun and young one, etc. Because I was already feeling like shit, I looked at her other platforms and saw how she liked a couple comments such as "Just because it wasn't a big deal to you, does not mean my feelings are invalid" "I like romantic men, ya'll can keep the boring ones" "lack of communication can ruin a good thing" etc..and I remember dealing with those exact issues with him.
Her keeping the pictures on her other platform and how happy they seemed were what hit me the most...I don't know why. But in that very moment, all I felt was like he never truly cared about me and I was the problem.