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I'm very curious about FDS's stance on this. Obviously, he should say it first - that's a given. But beyond that, how do you feel about the timing of saying "I love you"?
Too soon would definitely be inappropriate and too strange. I feel like for me personally, saying it within the first 2 months of being in a relationship (not dating, after commitment), would be too soon. But I'm not sure what my upper limit would be - like when does it get weird that he hasn't said it yet?
I'm thinking around 3-4 months into the relationship?
Around 3-4months sounds about right to me and if you haven't had sex yet and you feel he truly has made the effort to get to know you. Also doing "other things" other than intercourse e.g a handjob still counts as sex. Make them work and wait for it! Oh to be twenty something again. I wish I'd had FDS back then 🤣
How long does it take to really get to know a person? This is pretty subjective and depends on how much time you’re spending together, as if you’re only seeing each other here and there during the early dating stages, it prolongs getting to know one another. I would say him dropping the L bomb around the 5-6 month mark seems reasonable if you’re in a committed relationship and he has spent sufficient time getting to know you. Three months is way too soon to truly know someone deeply, yet alone love them.
3-6 months would work for me these days. Definitely not one week. That’s what I learned way back when 😑
This is one of those things that heavily depend on culture and personality. It should feel right to YOU. There is no universal timeline. For me personally, saying "I love you" is a pretty big deal, especially since my native language has a "softer" version of it (actually two) which I would expect to be said first before jumping straight into "love". It's stronger than "I like you" but less strong than "I love you". It's the ideal candidate to get comfortable with the regular use of verbal declarations of affection first, because culturally, we don't do that all that much. I remember my ex telling me "I love you" a day after our first kiss, and it felt so weird to me, but I was also flattered and didn't see it for the literal love-bombing it was. All things considered, I feel comfortable with the L-word about 5-6 months into the relationship. I know many people who are fine with saying it much sooner, I'm definitely one of the slower types.
My question would be: Do you love this man?
Because if you love this man, and he doesn't love you, you're going to be waiting for him to catch up to you. You are at a disadvantage when you love a man before he says 'I love you' to you as you're going to try to win his love. And we know that you cannot win a man's love. He either loves you or he doesn't love you. No amount of being the cool girl, or cleaning or cooking or giving him gifts will change how much love he has for you, which could be zero.
A man feels entitled to whatever you give him. Whatever you invest in a man, he doesn't feel beholden to you. He will not ultimately reward you with "I love you" or stay forever with you giving you the ultimate lifestyle when he makes it big. If he doesn't love you, he will drop you for the next hotter, younger model who is attracted by his wealth and confidence that was gained from being with you. And you have nothing to show for being loyal to a man.
Ideally, he should be confessing his feelings before you find out you love him.
Men know immeadiately how they will treat a woman, be it casual, one night stand, or wifey material.
I feel like you never really know someone esp. when they’re acting and trying to get something out of you. I’m very suspicious. Also, when do you decide you’re actually in a relationship? I don’t think I’ve ever had “the talk” with any of my exes in the past (and I was married twice😂). But to answer your question, I suppose I would expect it within 2-3 months. I’d be cautious though, cause how can you LOVE someone who you don‘t really know?
It would depend on how long we have known eachother, like being friends prior to starting the relationship. In that case saying ILY in the first couple months is good. The ideal time would be just went it feels like they would know me really well and had known eachother well for many months or years. Without a friendship prior, then maybe a couple months in. I really prefer to get to know a man over a long period of time and form a friendship first. That way I do not learn things that are dealbreakers too late. And it would be harder for him to love bomb and move it too fast and say ILY too soon.