I apologize in advance if this post is all over the place and also for the length.
I have this friend who I’ve know for about 4 years now. Since I met her we’ve slowly become closer and closer over the years. I was there for her when she was struggling after having her twins and she was there for me throughout my awful divorce. I never thought she was anything less than a HVW, until recently.
In the last 3-4 months she shared with me that she is not entirely happy in her marriage and isn’t sure what is wrong with her or how to fix it. Her unhappiness stems from her husband because he always expects sex with her every Sunday. It’s always the same thing, same position, and no orgasm for her and ends with him getting a BJ. This has caused her to pull away from her husband, resent him bc of his expectations, and blame herself for being disgusted by her husband. Me being the person I am suggested maybe to tell him how this all makes her feel. Long story short, she did and he got upset with her and doesn’t know why she just can’t give him his stress ReLiEf and now she blames herself for being a terrible wife bc she doesn't want to perform her wifely duties and is miserable in her life. She tells me that it has gotten to the point that she is so grossed out by him that she won’t even kiss or hug him anymore. I don’t really know how to respond to her anymore when she talks about these issues.
However, I on the other hand am a single mom and can’t be bothered to be around any man these days. I’ve been single for 2 years and have no intention on changing that any time soon. This is the first time in a long time I’ve been happy and can just live my life for me and my girls the way we want to. I’m really focused on leveling up in all aspects of my life and becoming a better person all around. While also setting a good example for my daughters and showing them that they can be strong independent women and they do not need a man to complete them.
So anyways I’ve encouraged my friend to maybe try working on herself in various aspects and maybe she would begin to feel better about herself and her situation. She took me up on one of my offers and came to the gym with me. Afterwards she let me know that she really enjoyed it and signed up for a membership so we made plans to go together every Thursday. This lasted for 2 Thursday’s and this last week when I walked into the gym she was speaking with the personal trainer who also happens to be a young handsome guy. I walked up to her and said hi and let her know I was going to change real quick and then I’d be ready. She completely ignored me and continued talking to the trainer. When I was finished changing I let her know I was going to start working out and she just gave me a thumbs up. I finished my workout and she was still with the trainer about an hour and a half later. I said bye to her and left because I had to pick my kids up from school. A couple days later I spoke with her and she let me know that she had paid for him to train her for the next 3 months. So I asked her if we were still on for Thursday’s and she said no that she is only working out with him those days. This kind of hurt my feelings because I feel like she just blew me off and had no intention on telling me until I asked.
In addition to this, recently she has become really competitive with me regarding any kind of weight loss and healthy eating. I gained weight during my divorce but have now lost 40lbs since February which is a great feeling. However the most recent time she has asked me how much I’ve lost her response to my answer is that she can’t really tell.
I have really enjoyed her friendship up until recently and don’t really know how to proceed. Am I overreacting here? Let me know what you ladies think.