Suicide

I would say this is Female Dating Strategy. Ideally you should be speaking with a trained professional. Call 9-8-8

"I just don't see any reason to keep on"

To fuck with them.

You're in control. You call the shots.

Stick it in their faces by living your best life. Imagine how mad they'll be!

Sounds like you're making a lot of progress in therapy and things are improving with your family. These are awesome steps, keep it up.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I feel like with all of the hyperbeautism (yes I just made that word up) that the internet era has been pushing has gotten so out of control these days. We've got very young teen girls already seeking out botox to prevent aging, plastic surgeons on TikTok trying to appeal to young women and girls to seek them out for irreversible procedures, "bimbo aesthetic" or hyper-femininity where one has to spend tens of thousands of dollars per year to look attractive as a woman, etc. It's hard out here and our perception of beauty has become so warped as a result.

Suicide is not worth all of that, though. You need to get professional help, because there has to be something deeper than how you feel about your own face. Autism is very difficult to live with if you don't have a good support system, doctors, and medication/lifestyle changes, and can cause severe depression. Let's focus on your mental health first before we can talk about looks, since the former is way more important than the latter.

Autism is hard to live with. Seek help and don't give up until you find a good fit.

You are clearly a survivor of your many experiences. First things first please call 988 or the suicide hotline for your country asap. I’m not a professional therapist; that being said I lost my hearing in my early twenties and never got it back. I’ve had people treat me like shit and look down on me for it. I’ve felt the hopelessness and the existential crisis before and I crawled out from under it and I’m very happy today. “I just don’t see any reason to keep on” You can’t really say that with any certainty. I know everything seems bleak right now and like your life is upside down. You are thinking of suicide. You are willing to die because you don’t feel like there’s anything left. But instead of doing that, In a sense there’s a freedom to the feeling of having nothing to lose because you now have space to explore who you are outside of all of these people you who see you as ugly. For example what can people do to you that could be worse than death. There’s so many things you could do, there’s so much you could be. I think you need to find a new purpose for your life, a new meaning. You could be writing the next great America. Novel, you could learn a musical instrument, learn to compose or sing, travel the world, learn to draw, paint, make animations, be the worlds best at something, anything! You need to direct all of that energy back into yourself. You need to build a sense of self that is not dependent on anything external like peoples opinion of you. A sense of self that can’t be taken away because of someone’s thoughtless comments. Building and learning things does that for you. I know you still want to make friends, date, and learn to flirt. That’s natural and every human being wants that. You are having trouble with that and I sympathize. Know that anything can be learnt. Read books on this, take a course whatever it takes, ask for help. Anything can be improved upon, yes, even looks. But first you must speak to a therapist, fix your mental health, build a sense of self that does not depend on anybody’s validation. You have to find a new purpose for your life. Read Man’s Search for Meaning if you can find the space to. It’s about a Jewish man who was captured and sent to a Nazi death concentration camp. He was tortured and starved and still found a will to live. Also, be careful what you feed your mind. If vindicta makes you feel awful then block it. In fact cut out social media gradually and then completely is my recommendation. They are poisonous to your mind. Be very discriminating of what you let into your mind especially with the likes of Instagram and Twitter. They promote very unrealistic beauty standards based on plastic surgery, and photoshop etc. check out r/nosurf for more on this. You are worthy and you deserve to be here with us!

This is probably not where I should focus this comment, but honestly? The people calling Dream ugly don't actually believe it.

He just looks like a standard, very boring, conventionally attractive man. But he does have plenty of people who dislike him, so they would've called him ugly no matter what he looked like.

Don't base your opinion on your looks around that. I know it can be hard to distinguish what is a real opinion and what is just internet trash talk (especially as a neurodivergent person — I have the same issues), but in this case it's mostly just people bullshiting because they dislike him.

As a fellow ND, I can absolutely understand the appeal of the looksmaxxing/PUA hellholes. They provide us some sort of "code", or "cheat sheet" for human behavior, and it feels very comforting. People are confusing, with their social cues we have trouble picking up and social norms that seem to have been decided completely at random.

The hellholes try to make sense of it all in a pseudo-scientific sort of way, and we eat it up because we didn't come with the same innate understanding of social interactions that others seem to have.

Let me tell you now that they're scams. They're trying to profit on our insecurities, giving us a faulty code that they hope won't work (so you can keep coming back to their content after everything fails). They eat away at our self esteem because it's good for their business. They're shills and are not here to help us, simply put.

As others here have pointed out: you're making great progress in therapy, and you're bound to keep getting better in the future. Trauma is not easy to get rid of (I was also bullied a lot), but it is possible to improve our relationship to it .

This forum is absolutely not meant for suicide watch and you should contact your therapist as soon as possible, but please know that we'll be here in your journey to decenter men from your life and live happier. As it turns out, attention from men is not the be-all-end-all to life, and a scrote's opinion of you does not define you in any way.

Here is the online crisis chat and phone numbers you can use if you live in BC, Canada.

Well, I’ve been called ugly and fat my entire life starting with my father, and if you actually look at me, I’m neither. There’s always something that people are gonna attack you over. If you’re really worried about being “ugly,” get the nicest styles of clothing that you can, get a nice haircut, wear nice makeup, eat right, get 8 hours of sleep per night, and exercise. You will eventually become better looking than the naturally beautiful people who don’t take care of themselves as they age. Time is the great leveler. As for the autism, you might look into chelation with EDTA to remove the heavy metals that cause this affliction and a ketogenic diet to have the animal fat required to heal the nerves and brain. But hang in there, and just realize that those who call you ugly are the truly ugly ones, and their ugliness goes clean to the bone.

Please reach out to the suicidal emergency hotline and don’t do anything🚨 where are you located??? There is a lot of wonderful advice above from queens 👸🏼 …. However, I am going to say something else that might not sit well with a lot of people and it’s usually something I don’t recommend or promote. If your look is something that is impacting you so much like this and you truly know deep down that you will never be happy just because of your looks, look into cosmetic surgery. I’m serious. I am completely against it because of the pressure of social media and everything but I also wouldn’t want to see a beautiful woman get to this point. This will not get rid of your low self-esteem as you have to heal your heart and love yourself but it’s a lot of hard work and you need to keep putting in the effort everyday to rise above all the pressure around you and people’s bullying. But there are also options available to you if that is something you are truly impacted by and you can’t accept it. You either accept and love yourself for who you are without causing yourself unnecessary suffering or change it. We love you queen!!! You are here with us now, you can get out of this.

I implore you to check out Huberman Lab for relevant episodes on autism, ND and brain chemistry. Stay away from alcohol because it increases the baseline for normalcy and makes you more dependent on it for relief. You’re a survivor, and you can do this. I say this with certainty because you’re here asking for help instead of self harming. You’re not “ugly”. I don’t say that to be patronizing, but because statistically and logistically very few people are. Except you were horrifically deformed in an accident or fire, or have some sort of genetic misfortune, it’s very unlikely you stick out as ugly to the extent you think. Humans can be very cruel and complicated, and for someone who’s neurodivergent and takes things at face value this can be incredibly confusing and painful. I remember my sister who is quite pretty, lovely and kind being told she looked like a corpse by a cruel step sibling. Which was the farthest thing from the truth but she believed it, and internalized it. Even people that meet conventional beauty standards have been called ugly due to malicious projections. What’s more likely is you’re average or maybe even pretty. It sounds to me like you were bullied and internalized their malicious abuse to a dangerous extent. Please continue with therapy. Read Huberman because his science based approach, objectivity and empathy will likely appeal to you. Delete all the looksmaxxing drivel. Most are low self esteem folks looking for a companion for their misery. Do some form of exercise every single day for the next month without fail. It will be well with you.