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I’m new to FDS and need to know how to vet the men in my life. Thank you so much ε>
The basis for most LV traits is misogyny. Now this can manifest itself in different ways: pornsickness (blatant disregard for safety and wellbeing of women, to the point of getting off on their abuse), expecting a mommy bangmaid to move in and solve all their problems while they sit on their ass playing video games, expecting women to chase them/pay for dates (while ignoring the disadvantages women face under the patriarchy), engaging in community dick behavior (especially irresponsible to women given the current political climate), I could go on because there's so much more. To me, LVM are just many flavors of misogynists.
Oh let me count the ways.... In my own very limited experience if he:
-Doesn't clean up after himself
-Claims to not know how to clean
-Is blissfully ignorant of learning how to help you clean, cook, take care of the kids, fix things around the house, and doesn't learn how to do those things or hire help.
- Doesn't do basic hygiene, like brush his teeth, use actual shampoo in his hair, or clean his butthole.
- Has his mattress on the floor, or no mattress at all, just a pile of dirty clothes and filth.
- Exhibits any toxic or abusive behaviors AT ALL.
-Expects you to go 50/50, because what do you actually bring to the table.
- Negs you.
- Calls you names. Ever.
-Is only hobby is video games.
- He thinks just because he has a job he doesn't have to do anything around the house, even tho you work full time too, take care of the kids, cook and clean.
- Idolizes misogynistic or toxic men like Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, Elon Musk, Bill Burr, etc.
-Enjoys raunchy stand up comedians.
- Watches porn.
-Doesn't clip their nails but instead tears them off and leaves them randomly in piles around the house (toenails included)
- Is any sort of substance abuser.
-Gets drunk and eats all the kids school snacks.
- Cannot take constructive criticism or accountability for any wrongdoings.
- Has told you they were abused or beaten as a child and never went to therapy.
- Continues to do something after you've asked them to stop, ie smacking your butt when you walk past them
-Feels attacked by any boundaries you've set.
I could keep going.
Surprisingly not bloody! I'm not sure how, but he would just tear them across and they never got too short or painful.
@Valkyrja Scrote magic!
I have to do the tearing nails off thing sometimes because my nails are very weak. I throw the torn off part in the garbage or compost, though. It's very rarely bloody at all - usually the nail starts to tear a mm or two out from the quick, so I can just pull it across and it leaves me with a short nail that is otherwise normal. Where possible, I will clip instead of tear, or I will file the rough edge as soon as possible if I have to tear it off. But sometimes you don't have your nail kit with you and have to do something to stop the nail from catching and ripping in an uncontrolled way.
LV men have addictions; addictions that rule their lives and not only will they be in denial about them, if they do eventually have their arm twisted enough to admit to them they typically drag their feet to address them. Even then, there’s no guarantee that they are going to lie about their addictions, hide them, gaslight you about them, and project them onto you. Addictions range from drug and alcohol abuse, video games, porn, food, work, etc
They abuse you in private, but can act decent in public.
They triangulate you with other women.
They follow/like/comment on other women online regardless of how you feel about it.
They are unfaithful.
They have a different set of standards for men then they do for women. Women are in two categories: they are either whores or Madonnas.
They are terrible listeners and unable to focus on anything for very long, the exception being when they’re personally invested or interested in something.
They are only polite/kind or even acknowledging of women they find attractive. Women whom they wouldn’t be interested in don’t get even a hint or respect or regard.
They are selfish lovers who often disregard a woman’s pleasure. If they do pleasure their partners; it feels like a performance. Sex feels like an act. They seem to be unable to look at you or connect with you during sex. They also often have kinks. They always seem to desire a woman that seems the opposite of you.
I could go on.
For me it’s when they put the patriarchy over you. Comments like playing “devils advocate” or wanting to “make their own judgment” are pretty big red flags. I’m smart, kind and lovable and if a guy is pushing back against that then I’m concerned.
Not today Satan
Here are just a few that I have seen myself or have seen in other relationships:
-has a nest, hygiene issues, etc.
-watches porn or subscribes to sites like only fans
-they badmouth their exes
-they can’t communicate
-goes 50/50 on paying for dates
-low effort, won’t plan dates or take the initiative
-follows mass amounts of women, ig models, etc. on social media. This includes “liking” inappropriate pictures of women on social media
-they are misogynistic
-they make sexist “jokes”, derogatory slurs, etc.
-calls you names during arguments such as “crazy” or “psycho”
-are selfish lovers
-gives the silent treatment
-doesn’t respond to texts, calls, etc. in a timely manner
-has scrote friends (you are who you surround ourself with)
-they try to get you to sympathize with them by trauma dumping too early in the relationship
-engage in love bombing
-throwing objects, punching walls, getting physical in any way
Lol there’s so many traits.
But for me I think a concise way of thinking about who they are is as follows:
An LVM is a man who has nothing to offer yet wants you to put in all the work/ “show” him why you’re worth his kingly presence 🙄. These are men who aren’t even that into you to pursue you properly, yet get legitimately mad when you keep walking and find someone else in 0.02 seconds b/c they thought you would wait around for them….lmao as if. Hopefully this helps
Wow…this does pretty much sum it up
This, they expect unequal distribution of emotional labour, effort, loyalty, chores, empathy etc all in their favour. If they do things for you expect to pay double for it because you will!
They are community dick and think "the other women have orgasmd most of time" All hands-free ofc.
They desire extreme age gaps citing fertility.
An oddly specific one I See way too often:
They neg women in mid to late 20s while being 35+ citing "fertility". But OFC have no desire for children ATM and have never proposed to anyone, especially not the teenagers/early 20s women they try to triangulate with. In reality they desire a relationship with the first group while also always insinuating the younger group is better. They want this dual model of profiting form being with a fully developed woman and putting her down at the same time
Males who forget details and timelines oft how you met and easy details you mentioned
Males who treat hookups and short term mating opportunities right (make time/ pay for dates) but expect the woman they get into a relationship with to pay for their loser ass citing "equality"
Males who cannot get it up for a woman they "love" because of Madonna/Whore complex
Jordan Peterson Followers (sadly)
Infantalizing adult women (they do shit behind her back and thus think she is naive and child like) and it comes out in this artificially sweet / talking down to her - way.
Separating sex from emoticons, talking about separating them
Dissing women who are older than you and praising your body over their 'perceived' bodies thinking you are so dumb to fall for this miso-bullcrap
What are the more subtle signs that a man is LV? Some of the responses here include: not cleaning up after himself, expects the lady to do all the chores and having a messy place. But all these things you wouldn’t know unless you already date him seriously and go to his place. Are there other signs a man is LV, including a LVM in a group conversation?
Sexist 'harmless' jokes