im tired of random people and family members wondering if i have a boyfriend. it’s really annoying because they make it seems like if some man hasn’t picked you yet then there’s something wrong with you. can anyone else relate ?
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Oh I feel you with this. I just came back to my parents home after being away for 2 years for school. And after like my 2nd day back I’ve been getting that question from family friends on “do you have a husband/partner/boyfriend?” What I’ve done now is just give a big smile back and say “Nope”.It throws them off because I seem so content and confident about it and either I’ll redirect the convo somewhere else or leave out of the conversation. Quite honestly people see being a relationship/ married as women’s sole purpose. When you’re not married but are happy these scrotes/pickme can’t understand nor fathom because men are the “Center”. So just remind yourself that these people see men as the center when really they are just a facet of your life. Be confident and happy with being single and just let these peoples comments brush off or leave the space to get out of that energy and words.
The older I get, the more I laugh in the face of this question.
I used to get annoyed, but now I can hardly contain my gladness as I say "oh, I'm not in a relationship" in the same tone of voice one would use to say "oh, I don't have any debt".
I don't quite say the "thank goodness I didn't settle for a dud" part out loud, but it's implied.
This is a joy I feel deep in my soul 😆
This type of response is especially hard on the people who were only asking because they were hoping to take me down a peg. They're so very confused that it's not getting me down. After all, it would devastate them - and everyone is exactly like them, right? They can't imagine anything else. It tickles me. 🤣
If you're not ready to be delighted by all this yet, I understand. I wasn't either for many years, because we've all been conditioned to think getting a man (any man) equals success. Freeing yourself from that conditioning is a process.
I tell them I’m dating myself and living the life 👸🏼 or I just completely ignore their question and change the topic 😆
I find the ones who say things to shame single women like that to take you down a peg are usually secretly miserable and settling in their own relationships. That’s why they need you to feel less than because they know you have a lot more going on than settling for some subpar man like them and see it as their chance to grab onto an illusory sense of superiority that doesn’t exist. Many single women are stress free (or stress reduced), successful and according to recent research (for both single and child free) richer! I find the happy ones in genuinely happy relationships rarely pull this stuff or feel the need to neg you, and I always find out later that the same women who make these comments to you trying to shame you about being single have a partner who is very problematic. I knew a narcissistic bullying pickme woman like that whose boyfriend was an alcoholic and shortly after shaming single women they broke up.
Oh yes. I met a fella at agency work (so no chance of future contact) who on my shift asked if I had a relationship. Upon learning that don't particularly want or need a man, be kept insisting that I had not met the right one. He could not wrap his head around a straightforward "men. Meh"
I have literally answered this question from my mom and from a lv brother and one acquaintance as “why, so I can clean up after some dude and then be all mad that he isn’t faithful?”
Everyone was taken aback but not in what I would say a bad way. they just kinda laugh and agree that it’s true. I think they see it as more of me trying to be funny and i hope it makes them think
about these things a bit more.
In a way it kind of amuses me at this point. I've had so many people ask if I'm in a relationship and when I say no, they do a double take, their eyes bug out and they ask 'But whyyy not???' Sometimes this is followed up by 'but you're so pretty though!!' So three things, they think every woman should be looking for and aspiring to being in a relationship, they think it's weird I'm not in one and they think being a woman/'picked' to be in a relationship is dependent on looks. Spoiler: they're wrong on all three counts. My usual response is something along the lines of, 'Haven't come across anyone worth wasting my time with recently', 'Right now, I'm focusing on things that are more important than a relationship'' or even, 'But most men are not very pretty :((' It's additionally amusing that when a man says he's single, regardless of what he looks like, they don't act the same. Usually that's responded to with 'I'm sure lots of women want to date you!!' or 'You'll find someone when you're ready :))' As with most patriarchal standards, you either laugh or you cry.
Grow older. No one bothers to ask then.
I don't get bothered with it. You know what my response is? "I haven't found anyone worth my time"
I've been very intentional with those I interact with so I am insulated in that don't deal with this much at all from others I am close with and I have a very rich and fulfilling life. Caveat that I'm very young and in no rush either. I'm on a temporary break from actively dating while focusing on some other priorities but that's no one's business either, it's a good opportunity to make my views clear if pressed beyond my response.
Because I'm not bothered by the question or genuine curiosity from someone getting to know me. I am confident and happy. I might have an acquaintance, a mutual friend in a group setting, or a coworker ask me though, and I respond and I simply say no. If they continue the subject any further, my exact response depends on who asks and where they are leading, it's mostly innocent curiosity. In the rare chance I am in a situation where someone is ever insinuating there is something wrong with me by their inquiry, I am very good at making certain they regret it.