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Income and money management is extremely important when selecting a partner.
The best guy, IMHO, is well off enough to live in a very good neighborhood and own a house that will appreciate in value over time and who will not cripple the family with poor money decisions.
Poverty affects every aspect of your life. Where you live. The schools you and your kids attend. The opportunities presented to you and your kids. The food you eat. The people you surround yourself with. Your healthcare options. Your freedom to leave a toxic job or workplace. Your ability to stay home with the kids if you CHOOSE to (choice is important here).
I grew up with a certain level of priviledge. I was able to go to college and graduate school. I live in a neighborhood where I can walk alone in the evening without fear. I live with my family and am able to save up for a down payment on a condo in a good area or a house if I split the mortgage and down payment either with my siblings or a spouse. I had a stay at home mom for years. I am saving up to go on a nice vacation next year. I am planning to make a career shift. I bought a car after saving for years and paid it off. I have no debt to my name at this time because I lived with my parents and saved and paid for a long time. There is absolutely nothing materialistic, selfish, or greedy for wanting those same things in a husband and a family.
Arguments about money (are) by far the top predictor of divorce.
This is true. I just worry that men may not be as financially secure as they seem. What if they're going into debt to keep up a facade? It seems like so many men have problems with money. At this point, I feel like the majority (whether rich or poor) waste money on porn and videogames, and the wealthy ones seem to also like to buy boats and expensive cars and high tech stuff. I really wish exchanging credit reports was more normalized. I don't want to get my heart invested only to find out he's in massive debt. How does one go about asking for this info, and how soon is too soon?
Men who say the opposite are just shaming women for something they would judge a woman for. 🙁