A few of us will end up with a HVM. But the rest of the brides? After they are some being princess for a day? That's when they become servants. Managing every aspect of life for their husband and their future kids. Cinderellas, all. Cooking, cleaning, making dr appointments, paying the bills, caring for the pets. On and on.
We've been sold a bill of goods that the ring and white wedding makes us SPECIAL. In reality it makes us SERVANTS. (In most cases).
Women need to think past the engagement and wedding to "what is day to day life going to mean for me if I marry this man"?
I've been waiting to get approved so I can write a post about how my seemingly HVM turned into an LVM right before my very eyes. Because they do change once they've "got you". Once you become wifey.
“what is day to day life going to mean for me if I marry this man"?
This is CRUCIAL. Crucial!! I seriously encourage everyone to ask themselves this question frequently. I thought about this, hard, for a few weeks before breaking up with my LV ex. So glad I did, because I’d be living a life of suffering when/if we got married.
First marriage was a total starter marriage. I was young and naive; I was sleepwalking. I moved in with him, no ring, no date, total Mommy McBangmaid. And that shit stopped real quick. Eventually I stopped doing the second shift. The house stank; he kept referring to it as his house, never our house. So I was like fine then! Clean your house. Cook in your house. Do your own laundry. I hated living as roommates not as husband and wife. He was/is asexual but that was a term unknown in the 90s. Second marriage to Jack was much happier. We had so much in common, discussed everything, and he had zero power agenda. He wanted me happy, comfortable, well taken care of. Very blessed to have missed the whole porn revolution; we were just content in our cocoon. But he was older than me; he had undiagnosed dysthymic depression and health issues. These days I make it clear I want living apart together. I want lifelong, monogamous companionship but no third marriage. No extra cooking, cleaning, etc. If he has kids, those kids are all his business, none of mine. I can’t imagine anything else that would work for me. I get my space, my way, on my terms, plus companionship.
I've groaned every time a woman around me got married since I was around 7 😂 It doesn't take long in this world to realise marriage brings no benefits for the vast majority of women.