Because it makes you less available and entertaining to men. And we obviously can't have anything blocking their "deserved" access to you, can we? /s
But honestly: If your quality of life suffers because you are shy and you wish you could be more open with people: by all means, work on it. To improve your own life, not to please others.
I was often considered shy when I was younger. I'm absolutely not shy. If I'm not talking to people, it's because I don't want to (usually because I find them annoying, offensive or boring and I am just not a person who enjoys talking to people for the sake of talking to people), not because I can't.
EDIT: I also think a lot of men are using the "shy" label to protect their own feelings when a woman doesn't respond to their advances. I mean it's easier to tell yourself "She's sooo into you and wishes she had the nerves to talk to you, but she's just shy, poor thing!" than to accept that she's just not into you. And the media play a huge part in this by selling the "the introverted girl/ girl who doesn't want to talk to the protagonist just needs to be chased and "forced out of her shell" for a totally happy ending because she was secretly into him all the time!"
26
Unknown member
Nov 21, 2022
Replying to
This. You’re seen as having resting bitch face, mean, closed off etc. Insecure men want us to throw ourselves at them and see loud women as trashy.
Unknown member
Nov 21, 2022
I have mixed feelings on this. Bc introverts and introversion are wonderful (I am one so obvi we're the greatest). However I feel like a lot of social anxiety is being called introversion nowadays... They are absolutely not the same thing- social skills are learned skills by introverts and extroverts alike, framing social anxiety as introversion is harmful to all bc it makes social anxiety seem like a fixed part of one's personality rather than learned skills.To my mind it seems that it's extroverts who think they're introverts bc they prefer online engagement are the "socially anxious introverts"... And I think it's bc they aren't getting their social needs met bc they're in denial about their extroversion 😅
It only needs to be fixed if you want it to be. I actually dislike the word fixed, I think "addressed" is a better term. Loneliness can be a real problem, one that doesn't have an easy one size fits all solution, but it deserves attention, if it exists.
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Because it makes you less available and entertaining to men. And we obviously can't have anything blocking their "deserved" access to you, can we? /s
But honestly: If your quality of life suffers because you are shy and you wish you could be more open with people: by all means, work on it. To improve your own life, not to please others.
I was often considered shy when I was younger. I'm absolutely not shy. If I'm not talking to people, it's because I don't want to (usually because I find them annoying, offensive or boring and I am just not a person who enjoys talking to people for the sake of talking to people), not because I can't.
EDIT: I also think a lot of men are using the "shy" label to protect their own feelings when a woman doesn't respond to their advances. I mean it's easier to tell yourself "She's sooo into you and wishes she had the nerves to talk to you, but she's just shy, poor thing!" than to accept that she's just not into you. And the media play a huge part in this by selling the "the introverted girl/ girl who doesn't want to talk to the protagonist just needs to be chased and "forced out of her shell" for a totally happy ending because she was secretly into him all the time!"
I have mixed feelings on this. Bc introverts and introversion are wonderful (I am one so obvi we're the greatest). However I feel like a lot of social anxiety is being called introversion nowadays... They are absolutely not the same thing- social skills are learned skills by introverts and extroverts alike, framing social anxiety as introversion is harmful to all bc it makes social anxiety seem like a fixed part of one's personality rather than learned skills. To my mind it seems that it's extroverts who think they're introverts bc they prefer online engagement are the "socially anxious introverts"... And I think it's bc they aren't getting their social needs met bc they're in denial about their extroversion 😅
It only needs to be fixed if you want it to be. I actually dislike the word fixed, I think "addressed" is a better term. Loneliness can be a real problem, one that doesn't have an easy one size fits all solution, but it deserves attention, if it exists.