Just a little rant because I am really pissed off right now and have been holding it in for like forever (which isn’t healthy I know but I am trying to do better). Just now WHILE I AM TRYING TO STUDY FOR AN IMPORTANT math exam, I had to give my family and I’s two dogs a bath because they got all muddy after being out in the mud. Now I would had been fine with it if I wasn’t the only one out of my siblings (one younger brother, an older sister, and one older brother that has moved out) that has to do ANYTHING in the house such as taking out the garbage, making sure the floor is clean, taking out the dogs and feeding them, other chores, etc.
It seems that ever since I was little I had way more responsibilities than them and had to give up more things. Like I always had to give up my room when guests come or had to share a room with said guests (and my siblings never had to do the same). Or I had to do what my younger brother wanted because “I am his older sister” when we were little and he wanted to play with me when I was too tired to. In contrast my older sister and brother were never expected to do the same and my mom instead told me to “respect their space”.
It also seems when they want something they automatically get it (because if not they get upset and may even act out). My brothers ALWAYS got the latest games and consoles even though we were always tight on money and my older sister got whatever movies she wanted. Me? “Money is right now Circe, maybe later when I get paid”. Then when I got older and was gifted any sort of money from family (like 20 or 50 dollars) couldn’t ask for anything because “I have my own money”.
Then the most important thing that makes me so angry at my family is that I am the ONLY ONE of my siblings that has to give them my money if they need to borrow money. Now granted this isn’t a common thing and my younger brother is only 14 but it still makes me mad when my mom wants to borrow money (or my dad when we used to visit him) I have to be the one to give it up. They said they will pay me back but they NEVER did!! My mom and dad never asked my older siblings for money for anything but I am ripe for the picking for it.
And since I am now showing more negative emotions instead of hiding it anymore my family says I will have an “attitude” when I am upset or annoyed by anything. When my siblings do the same no one bats an eye. My brother was upset we didn’t get the exact snack bars we wanted? “Oh next time we will buy them!!” Me when I asked for just one pack of those keto ice cream pints? “Will this is what PRINCESS wants” in a joking way.
Yes I know I should just move out and I am planning on doing it with my friend. We are both saving up for our own place in the city, but I just wanted to let out my hurt feelings, so I am sorry this is just one big word salad whiny post.