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As an older woman who’s already been married twice for 25 years, this is such a vetting strategy. I make it super clear that I want a living apart together situation precisely so I won’t have any extra cooking, cleaning, or caregiving. Amazing how poorly that sits with most men, and that’s awesome. Tells me they want coercive control, no real equitable partnership, and that they’re essentially man-babies. They’re looking for a relationship so they can be taken care of and offer no caretaking or providing in return. I love my freedom and independence more than any man. Said that to a few also.
I got this intense feeling of being an immovable woman while reading about this fierce boundary you set. THIS is why we share FDS. I'm already strong af, but there's so much more to learn and grow. Thank you for the reminder. 🙌
A long time ago I was married to an older man with two sons, too old to be my kids. I spent a lot of time with them in our short, miserable marriage. I taught them how to wash their own laundry, do dishes both by hand and with a dishwasher, pull & trim weeds, mow, and shovel snow. The last 3 they actually wanted to learn. I hope they turned into more independent adults because of that. But I know their mother did everything for them so it may have undone what little I taught them. Still, when an 11 year old learns to wash their own clothes, they tend to wash their favorite clothes frequently. They like having that power.
Not you blaming the mother for these grown ass kids not learning shit in your build a man years.
Can you clarify this sentence? I'm a little confused.
There are allot of talentless parents that have kids just to only have kids
"BoYs CoPiNg" because they have it so hard
The funny thing is she genders cooking in her own fucking comment. For girls it is a basic life skill- women should have this by default or else they will be deemed useless/won't be able to bOnD with their male partners by serving them. For boys it's an outlet for the stress they feel in a patriarchal society that does nothing, but make their life easier and since we NOW deem cooking good for men because it can be seen as a CoPiNg mechanism with serves them it is now allowed to be taught to them.
🙄 she tried I guess
"For boys it's an outlet for the stress they feel in a patriarchal society"
Um...what fucking stress??
Agree. The men in my family cook and clean. So I expect the same of any man I date or get into a relationship with.