WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
Hmm. This is a tough one. There are a lot of traits that make someone desirable in some stereotypical way, and I think most of us here know what they are. When you get down to it with the very most desirable women though, it becomes difficult to describe their traits very well.
I'll try to though. And, below, when I use the word "you", I mean you in the general sense ("y'all"), not you specifically.
Being An Immovable Mover
Okay, so everybody here realizes the woman should be the one in charge of how things go. We also realize the woman should not be parenting the man.
There is one thing the woman should have in common with good parents:
She is "the immovable mover." Or "that which moves without being moved."
She seems trustworthy and reliable because you know she is how she is, and she won't be any other way, and you understand precisely what to expect from her.
This makes children feel safe when their parents are immovable. It makes men feel safe (in a good way) too - if you can direct things while seeming to stay still yourself, you are a calming and safe presence while also seeming adoration-worthy. After all, the two phrases above are religious. They're about God. Nobody says, "Man, God is so boring since he's immovable." Rather, the immovable nature is part of what's so awe-inspiring, because humans aren't used to that. But humans also have complex dynamics in which one human can symbolize a greater power to another human. The most desirable women are immovable movers.
Note: being an immovable mover doesn't mean you can never admit when you were wrong. An immovable mover who's done a wrong thing at some point is SO immovable that saying, "Sorry I did that," doesn't threaten their position.
Also, being an immovable mover obviously does not mean you are doing what the other person wants.
It means that they know when to expect that you will be pleased with them or not, and that they know what the results will be, and that they never wonder, "Well, how will she respond if I do x?" They fucking know how she'll respond if they do x. And if she is doing what the other person wants, it's clear to them that it's because it suits her immovable self.
Being an Immovable Mover is, from everything I've seen and experienced in my entire life, the most important thing.
All other rules can be skillfully bended if you have your own immovable mover reasons (ie ones the man could never touch or influence) for doing so, whereas no amount of rules work if a man understands that you are not immovable... since you'll break the rules anyway as soon as he moves you.
In relation to being an immovable mover: it's clear at all times that she is the one who wants to be doing whatever she is doing. Nobody ever wonders, "Is she doing this to please some other person?" We all know it's because it's what pleases her; if it pleases others, that is a pleasant side effect.
She has character and benevolence even while "staying still" in who she is.
She respects service professionals; she is kind to animals; she doesn't make fun of the unfortunate. You know that if she were in a tough situation she would do the right thing.
Though she prioritizes herself in all normal life situations, you suspect she'd save a kid from a burning building or take a bullet for somebody weak and defenseless. (I believe women find this valuable for obvious reasons, and men find it valuable for similar reasons: it doesn't matter if a woman pops out his babies if she won't also protect them.)
When she doesn't have a solid reason to hurt someone, she does not hurt them just for kicks.
A Becky listens, but a dreamgirl has gravitas.
When a man tells a Becky his deepest secrets she's sympathetic; when he tells a dreamgirl his deepest secrets she is silent for a bit and then says, "Thank you for telling me that," before either saying she needs to think about that more or making a serious observation.
She may offer a hug, but it's not an empathetic hug (empathy is when you express ,"I am currently feeling what you feel.") but rather a compassionate hug (compassion is when you express, "I understand that what you are feeling is difficult for you.")
Then all the other stuff we all know. Taking care of their health, taking care of hygeine, all that stuff that is great but isn't good enough to move someone up from "Becky" category.
A desirable woman - a dreamgirl, according to some other post I saw - is an immovable mover who always seems to be doing precisely what she wants to be doing, who prioritizes herself in all normal situations but who you're sure has iron-clad enough character to take a bullet if some shooter is pointing their gun at a child, who listens carefully and then responds carefully instead of reacting with syrupy sympathy.
Oh. And last of all, something I ignored: a dreamgirl isn't crazy. If she has mental health issues, they are well-managed through therapy and possibly medication, and have been well-managed for years.
So - there are tons of other good traits specific men will love, and other specific men will find "meh." But none of those rise to the level of being thematic. I think that what I have written above covers the entire theme of the very most desirable women - the ones at the very highest end of the bell curve, the ones who can barely avoid tons of men wanting to commit to them forever.
A High Value Woman is that woman you know you can trust no matter what, because she is so rooted in her very own moral principles that nothing can influence her. She walks her own road, she isn't burdened by unnecessary dramas -- she isn't interested in what people think of her, she only cares about fulfilling her reasons for being born onto this earth.
A High Value Woman has depth. Not just surface-level qualities.
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