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I see some questions on the sub about how to raise sons as HVM, and I just want to say: keep your ears open for teachable moments! I’ve been a single mom for a while. Heck, even when I was married I may as well have been single!
Without getting into too much detail, operations were set up to help crack down on sexual abuse and trafficking of minors. One of the people busted was a “respected” official of my (male) teen’s high school. When we saw the news crew outside of the school last night, I told him that *name withheld* was arrested for trying to solicit sex with minors (I’d looked it up earlier because the school sent out a vague bulletin). We spoke about inappropriate sexual acts and how some people do things we just can’t understand, and after a few minutes my teen said, “Wait, he was a *insert profession*. That had to be years of college and training. Why would he just throw all of that away?”
I wanted to tell him about male entitlement, how some men just want their peepee wet, and how too many groom young girls, but kept it to a simple “Sometimes people just can’t see beyond their urges. They will destroy lives for a few minutes of pleasure, and not even think about the consequences. As an adult, whatever you choose, it’s probably going to have an affect on people all around you.” (Tried to keep it mature, unpointed and clean!)
I told him if he ever has any questions or needs to talk to anyone, come to me or reach out to someone he trusts. (Sucks when trusted officials in positions of authority turn out to be dirtbags, though, so I always emphasize coming to me!)
Point is, keep the lines of communication open, look for those teachable moments, and don’t be afraid to have the hard conversations (but don’t make them accusatory, I try to remain mindful in my words so my sons don’t ever think I hate men). Oh, and try to keep those N/LVM influences away from your children!
Good stuff! My 2 sons are grown and are what I hope to believe are, HVM. I’ve introduced them to the values of FDS (before I knew of FDS) when they were young. It’s not easy though because at a certain age, they defer to their peer group. For that reason, I paid close attention to (as you said) teachable moments from their social interactions that they shared with me regarding dating. They’ve been brought up in a society that follows libfem logic, and it seemed for a while, I had to deprogram them of the idea that the pickmeisha women were actually confident, but rather that they felt they had to play the pickmeisha role in order to get a boyfriend. I implored my sons to not only avoid the men who exploit desperate women, but to call it out…every single time they see it. Kudos to you, mama!
Great job keeping the language neutral and focused on the problem instead of emotional.
It's really easy to call names and go past the point of what the story is about.