"I really don't want a man for his money, I would be happy with someone that cherishes me and loves me, the material is good but is not what makes a relationship stronger. Of course there is always a balance. I would think that two people with a head on their shoulders would both be contributing into the finances in their household, nothing wrong with that. Hey if one makes more and can contribute more than that's fine as well, usually it's the male because women are underpaid. If I'm successful I wouldn't mind being the one that gives more."
Now, at first glance, this sounds amazing. Once upon a time I thought this make sense too. So what's wrong with it?
This will be the ideal relationship -- in the IDEAL WORLD. Not in the world we live in.
Let's break this down.
1) "I really don't want a man for his money. I would be happy with someone that cherishes me and loves me, the material is good but is not what makes a relationship stronger."
🤡 Cool, so what exactly makes a relationship stronger? Love poems?
🤡 Yeah, yeah, "I love you, you love me, we are best friends like friends should be" and blah blah blah.
🤡 Forgive me for be cynical -- but the type of people who say these things usually never knew what it feels like to chew on leaves because they are haven't eaten in days.
🤡 I grew up in abject poverty -- and I freakin' HATE when people starts romanticizing struggle and think "as long as we have love, everything will be okay".
🤡 You know what isn't okay with being poor? EVERYTHING. Ain't no "love" strong enough to conquer the absolute exhaustion of struggling everyday with barely any food to get you going. And people treat you like you are cockroaches.
🤡 And who suffer the most with this stupid ass "struggle love"? The f**king children. Always, always the f**king children.
🤡 Fine, you don't want to marry a millionaire -- nobody is asking you to. But unless that man can wave magic and everything will be taken care of -- you need that money to survive. To thrive. To continue living until the day you die. To make sure your children don't suffer every single f**king day.
🤡 You need a financially capable and responsible man, period. Otherwise stay single.
🤡 Nowadays man has ONE expected role in the relationship -- go to work and bring back money -- it is not like he need to go fight some mountain lions or sh*t, so why are you still coddling that grown ass man?
🤡 How else do you think he can show he cherishes and loves you? Serenading you to death?
2) "I would think that two people with a head on their shoulders would both be contributing into the finances in their household, nothing wrong with that"
🤡 Ahh... the "good girl with the golden heart" morality -- you know where I heard this from the most? From WOMEN. Especially in the current liberal feminism landscape. And usually the type that never have to worry about money because they parents are well-off.
🤡 Know where I NEVER hear this from? From MEN. Men never think like this -- even the men who say they "think" like this.
🤡 Shit like this sounds good and morally superior on paper. But once you face the reality and all the nuances of struggle -- people who proudly say sh*t like this will be the FIRST one to fold.
🤡 And no, sis. You are not his brotherhood in arms that he can just work alongside with. He doesn't see you that way. Women are there to be provided for, not split expenses with.
🤡 A HVM doesn't seek someone to go halfsies on household financials -- because that's insulting his capabilities. He is not looking for a business partner -- he is looking for a wife.
🤡 Meanwhile scrotes be promising "I got you back, don't worry we are in this together" while already typing up their resignation letter because they found a new atm.
3) "Hey if one makes more and can contribute more than that's fine as well, usually it's the male because women are underpaid. If I'm successful I wouldn't mind being the one that gives more."
🤡 Oh I hear this all the time -- "I don't mind giving more" up until she realizes she will be the one giving more for the rest of her life. She will be the one working until labor and expected to get up right back up after three weeks post-natal because she makes more -- the household will be in jeopardy if she doesn't work.
🤡 She gotta freeze her milk, pay for maids and nanny, pay for this and that, pay for childcare, pay the bills, never have any time for her kids because she is busy working, working, working -- and she can never truly rest. Because after coming home -- she is still the wife and the mother. It is not like she can act like she doesn't get any children around needing attention -- and doesn't have a husband she needs to maintain a relationship with. Even worse if you can't afford extra help -- women are still expected to be the one doing chores and maintaining the household plus shouldering all the mental load.
🤡 And even if she is smart and chooses to be childfree -- she can never truly rest and relax. Apart from the expected responsibilities I mentioned above, when you pay half or more of the finances of the household -- you expect to have equal or more say in the household decisions, right?
🤡 IN THE IDEAL WORLD, or if you have a partner of the same gender -- this would be a non-issue. Because you both think the same way. Now, you are on FDS, what did you learn about men? Men, despite what women hope men are -- don't think like women at all. They think differently, see things differently, feels differently, emotionally and psychologically react to things differently than us.
🤡 You think it is a common sense that since you pay half or more, of course you can also dictate things just like how they do it -- but they see it as a competition. They feel like you are competing with them -- and they despise competing with women. They want to pay for us, impress us, woo us, protect us and take care of us -- but if a man starts seeing you as a competition, he starts seeing you like how he sees other men. That attraction will vanish in a blink of an eye.
🤡 Men are all-or-nothing creature. If he can't pay for you, impress you, woo you, protect and provide for you, do it all for you -- he might as well do nothing and find somebody else to do it all for.
🤡 He gonna spend more time outside doing who-knows-what while she goes half-crazy trying to juggle million things at home and at work. Eventually, he let her be the breadwinner and laze around because "work give him PTSD" or some other bullsh*t. Haven't the million of stories from women all around the globe tell you enough?
🤡 And resentment grows. There's always tension at home. You can't even breathe. Eventually, you stop speaking to each other. And guess who will end up paying alimony and child support post-divorce because the person makes more?
🤡 Frustrating, but that's the REAL world we live in. So let go of that idealized "good girl with the golden heart" morality we all have been brainwashed with, and start operating in the real world. Remember this: Your money is YOUR MONEY. His money is for the family. And you better damn well start accepting that men love cold-hearted b*tches, not nice girls paying her own dinner and her own bills.