He and I met online three weeks ago. We have talked on the phone a lot (I try to keep the conversations short--20-30 minutes, but he wants to talk for an average of two hours each time) and we've video chatted. He is mid 60s. I am early 50s.
He has cashapped me several times ( unsolicited by me, of course) saying he wants to “spoil” and “help” me. Not massive amounts, around $100 each time. The first one after talking with me about 3 times in 4 days. Since I’m sort of financially challenged lol right now, these cash apps, admittedly have been helpful. I mentioned a dream of finally completing a degree. He said, should we work out, he will pay for me to go back to university. He told me to tell him if I have any problems covering my bills.
Last week he bought a ticket to fly to see me. He’s in the Midwest. I’m in the southeast. Yesterday he booked a hotel for his stay here. Not a luxury one, not a dump. About $150 per night. What do you ladies think so far?
The biggest problems in my eyes: He seems to be expecting me to “help plan” what we will do as he “doesn’t know the area”. Yet his is a wiz online and can find anything else in seconds. He also has said, when we were discussing restaurants here that we “Don’t have to go anywhere fancy. Some of the best food can be at little hole-in-the-wall places”. It took everything within me not to say. “Except if any man ever dared take me to such a place I would leave and he would be ghosted.” Instead I just listened.
This is confusing. He seems generous in many ways, yet is somewhat cheap in some ways perhaps? Men nowadays are so unbelievably stingy and lacking chivalry—and I’m a woman over 50 in a society that starts devaluing us at about 35.
Also I am just now finding FDS (thankfully!!) and was raised to be a pickme. I threw away 15 years married to a hard-working, but only partially HV man ( which means he was actually LV probably lol!). He believed the bills should be 70% his—but still usually 30% mine. I always thought this was wonderful🙄, LOL! Never again.
I feel like a guy the one I’ve met above may be either very wealthy, but cheap or just broke. What do y'all think? Should I let him come across the country to visit me? Should I just tell him not to come, and hope I find another guy who wants to "spoil and help me"? Thanks for reading my question!