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Stop burdening yourself with the thoughts of men and their shittiness - change or no change, only they themselves can do that. We are raised to believe that we somehow can change other people (men especially) by using the right combination of words, action and (my favorite) by "loving them so hard and so selflessly, they start growing love for you".
THE LIEST LIE TO EVER LIE IN THE HISTORY OF LIESSSSSSS.
Nagging him, giving him ultimatums, threatening him, giving him wall after wall of texts, crying your heart out explaining to him how he hurt you, twisting yourself into a pretzel trying to make him "see" sense etc etc. Only for him to "change" for a week at best. Before going back right into his true self.
Fuck all that bullshit.
YOU CAN'T CHANGE A MAN.
Read that and re-read that ladies. You simply can't change anyone, no matter what you do. We all like to think we have that kind of power because we are bullied into changing ourselves by the patriarchal society - but realize that women are all systematically brainwashed into default people-pleasing mode ever since we got out of the womb. That's how all those people seemingly have "power" to change your thoughts, your action, your behavior - because they trained us to be gullible and easily influenced.
MEN DON'T EXPERIENCE THAT GROWING UP. They are taught that they have the power to change US, to control women. That's why whenever we dare to defy their words - they pretty much wants to hurt us in the worst possible ways.
We are trained since birth to be slaves, men are trained since birth to be kings. They just do it in a really subtle, seemingly "common sense" way. Now? That shit is dressed as "empowerment" and "equality". Which is why they demand you give them money and calling it "EqUaLiTy" - because our ancestors dare to fight for our rights to earn money and live life as a free woman.
Remember what our ancestors had to go through - the sacrifices, the pain, the blood they shed, the torture they endure the next time you start thinking going 50/50 with that cute guy isn't so bad. Remember the freedom you have now and the money you can freely earn now is build upon a path of blood - because the women before us choose to fight with their life so that their future daughters and granddaughters don't have to suffer like them.
MEN DON'T THINK LIKE WOMEN. Heck it is really hard to find men who think even 10% like women - so stop treating them like us. Stop treating them like they see things the way we do, have deep empathy and thoughtfulness like we do, understand kindness and act on it like we do.
That "love" you are feeling and you wanting to give him the world - because it is "the right thing to do" is part of the BRAINWASHING. Because you feel guilty as f**k if you don't burn yourself to keep him warm in the name of "love". Yet men rarely stay with their sick wife. So what is this "love" again?
KICK HIM OFF THE PEDESTAL. Reframe your mindset, get yourself out of the brainwashing, take a step back and re-evaluating everything you think you know about reality. Because I can guarantee you almost all the things we are taught since little - are designed to prime us to be a man's slave.
Really think about it ladies - why do women have "so much love" for the able-bodied, mentally functioning, stronger and have easier time making money, spoiled rotten and severely lazy, always have been treating women like trash since elementary men? Yet when another women maybe didn't smile when you say good morning to her, you immediately feel offended? Really look at your knee-jerk reaction to rude men vs rude women and you will understand what I am talking about.
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET. And you will start seeing the root of the problem. Instead of keep trying to fix a leaky bucket riddled with holes. Stop blaming other women, the environment, the culture, the practice or whatever else women have been blaming when problem arises - yet keep dating the very root of all her problems. And moving in with him, being the perfect mommy bangmaid wifey, give him money and kids. And wonder why she becomes more and more miserable as the year passes, wishing for any unicorn magic bullshit to happen (but still want to marry him).
STOP. WISHING. FOR. MAGIC. Divorce, get out, walk away, block and delete - solve your problem NOW.
Stay safe.
I think women are told we can change a man based on how easily they can change us. Great post! It brings us back to the reality of life.
Love the energy in this post!!!! Well said.
@SayNad I was wondering where you've been! I enjoyed reading your posts on Reddit. This is gold, as always
BRAVO!
@SayNad Always look forward to your posts!