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I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but I wanted to vent about men that just say "hey" or "hi" when you match with them on OLD. I guess we can add "hey beautiful" too ...and then they expect you to carry the entire conversation from there--and later, the entire relationship if you're naive enough to entertain them from the get-go. It's the junk email/spam of online dating, and splutters out pretty quickly if you respond with equal low effort--their entire "strategy" is predicated on women doing all or most of the work, not them.
It's even more annoying when you've spent the time to fill out a detailed profile (like on Ok Cupid) and they literally have dozens of things about your interests or personality to work with if they spent five minutes to read and think about it, and they just say, "hey" or "heyyyy [emojis]." Do they do this in person? Walk up to a woman and say hi and then stare at her? lmaoooo
The lowest of low effort. And I know damn well they don't get very many matches....it's so lazy and self-defeating. Also: quick note for men who say "but I write actual messages and don't get matches!1!!" As one of the ladies said on the podcast, you're probably not that physically attractive --something women are too kind or too scared to say--or there's something else in your profile that's off-putting to women; e.g. unemployed, only employed part-time, bad pictures, drug use, you have kids, you're divorced, etc.
I always unmatch them if they don't follow up the hey or hi so they can see the cause and effect in real time. Only way they'll learn.
They actually do this in real life too. I've had guys approach me and literally just say 'heyyy' and then just stand there looking at me. It's so weird and awkward. At least you can ignore, block and delete online. Why do they think they only need to present themselves to a woman and have her make the effort to carry a conversation with them? They need to get personalities and make themselves more interesting if they want relationships.
Whenever I tried matching their low-effort with even lower effort, some of them would tell me things like "you're not in the mood to talk?".
Some will just message "hey" and when they get no response, they send a string of equally low effort messages, as if that would suddenly make me more inclined to talk to them. 🤦🏽♀️
I no longer believe I have to prove that I'm interesting, they have to earn the right to witness my conversational skills. Love hitting that block button.
I say hi back or equivalent of whatever they say to match energy then use wait time. I make them carry the conversation since they got in touch with me first. Same energy as seeing if he can plan a date, can he converse? Short, quick, easy vetting strategy that will cost you at most 5-30 minutes.
i'm kind of the opposite hahaha i hate when the guy tries too hard to impress me in the first message. to me, a "hi" is a-ok. i'll respond with "hi" too and see where it goes. if he can't really make me interested in talking to him from there, then i'm out. but i genuinely find it annoying when he tries to be witty in his first approach.
I actually got a message that started with Hey beautiful. I deleted it right away.
I put in my profile: don't punt- and give examples. So anyone who posts low effort nonsense gets the block, I don't even bother. A guy who just posts "hello gorgeous" is posting it to every woman on the site.
I give a heart or an emoji back, some people are bad at conversations, but if you strike out with boring shit three times I unmatch