I truly feel depressed for our sisters in America who have just lost their abortion rights. I feel depressed that I feel like I can't do anything to stop men using violent pornography or abusing sex workers. I feel depressed about our sisters overseas who suffer period discrimination and FGM. I feel so sad for this generation of women because our rights are genuinely being rolled back and it is scary, and thats without even mentioning the dating scene. Getting into radfem ideas has been extremely hard on my mental health because - my god - a lot of what radfems theorise is absolutely true but its heartbreaking to come to see the world like this.
I have done my best to follow the FDS lifestyle. I don't accept walking dates or going round to their homes. I don't do casual sex and I am clear to men about this. I refuse to send nudes and I unmatch and block the ones who ask. I have focused a lot of energy on my own wellbeing and my career. I've made effort to centre my female friends and I have made effort to find more female friends. But since I raised my standards with men I have got zero dates or serious offers, just the same old offers of casual sex and nudes. The man I loved absolutely ghosted me and has now unfollowed me. I had a male best friend of 7 years and he tried to get sexual with me. Another male friend tried to have sex with me and stormed out of my house when I turned him down. Is it men or is it me? I've tried so many approaches to this and I'm really having a hard time trusting my own judgement now. It really does feel like wading through a bowl of skittles trying to avoid the poisoned ones.
Honestly, I've been avoiding reading the SCUM manifesto because at this point I'm scared I will totally agree with the author. I have loved men and I want to love them but they do NOT make that task an easy one.
I'm at a loss for what to do. Do I carry on trying to meet decent men using the FDS guidance, or do I give up completely and just seek female friendships and lesbian relationships?
Is anyone who is feeling the same offer any advice or support?