s this normal to you ladies?
Coz it's not to me.
First intro messages from men asking to meet without asking any compatibility questions to work out if there should even be a date.
Zero effort.
Men don't seem to have any fear of meeting women.
Women have the fear of rape, fear of torture and murder.
Why do these men think it's normal to ask a stranger out so fast?
Are women allowing this coercion?
As someone who used OLD for years, there is a sweet spot to being asked out. Immediately means they are grasping at straws and just want a warm body. On the other end, there are men who NEVER ask you out and will chat for weeks (or even months if you let them - don’t!).
Personally, I expect a man to ask me out (preferably for dinner! - like my so-far HVM boyfriend did) approximately 2-5 days after we match, after at least a handful of thoughtfully written messages in which there is promising rapport. If a man asks you out in his very first message (especially for coffee!!) , don’t even bother, just unmatch/delete with no reply. He is playing a numbers game and doesn’t see you as human, so don’t give him the courtesy that he’s not giving you.
Tangential question, what are you writing on your profile that a guy says it’s “a hell of a read”? Keep it sparse so you don’t give men clues on how to mirror or manipulate you.
The first message is so general that it looks like he sent that to every profile that he saw.
Zero vetting on their part and yet wOmEn JuSt aS bAd aS mEn hmm? 🤔
FDS queens don’t do coffee dates, just say this is not what I’m accustomed to and then unmatch 😉 .. when someone sent me a phone # on OLD to call him, I said we can chat over hinge as they have a call feature .. he unmatched me 🤣 ... I'm not giving my number to anyone that I haven't met. the trash takes itself out for you when you have standards.
This is why I'm considering leaving Tinder, as I get bombarded with men like this. Ive had way too many first messages start out with "coffee or tea?" Neither, you bozo. I dont tell them that I just delete them straight away lol.
Guys think that if you match with them it automatically means you want to meet up, which is the furthest from the truth. Its like no dude - my time is a privilege and I'm not putting myself out for a man who made zero effort to make a connection with me. I call these guys "sick puppies" There are sadly so many of them on Tinder. I prefer Hinge. The guys ive gone out with have fostered connections with me and taken me on high quality dates
What both these men sent you is what I call "copypasta" they have that message copied on their phones and they just copy and paste it to every woman they can.
In my OLD profiles I will write a bio about myself in a general sense and then in the middle of it I will add a "if you're liking what you're reading so far tell me where your favorite place you traveled was". Having it in the middle means they will actually have had to read the bio and answering that question eill mean that they'll have to write me an original message rather than the copypastas they send everyone. If he doesn't answer my prompt, then I unmatch him.
Another thing I'd, instead of replying to them, you need to GHOST and BLOCK. you told these men exactky what they did wrong (and you're correct, they are asking way to fast, also the dates are cheap and low effort) but telling them is not okay. They'll learn from their mistakes and make their low effort harder for the next woman to spot.
never tell a man what he did wrong.
We have fds here for you where we enjoy discussing and venting about it.
yeah a lot of these men want me to go to their house right away after texting back and forth from these apps. it’s obvious they want sex but idk what they’re capable of. and they get an attitude when you don’t want to meet
He is been sending this Same crappy messenge to so many women on old they can't even get to know the basics of the person they are about to meet which is bare of bare minimum. Arh easy pass
I don’t drink coffee, and that’s a low effort “date.” But if I read his profile, and I liked it after seeing that message, I might offer to instead meet up for lunch or dinner in public. Personally, I like guys who want to meet up and not waste my time texting and never meeting. But yeah, we women do have to be careful. Lots of dangerous males out here to contend with.
He.. saiiiddd “I’m aware that’s something I need to prove” …. Plus I think a lot of guys just don’t wanna text. Meet in a public place and be chatty
Yeah it seems normal to me. I’d rather meet someone in person than chat online because I hate chatting on messenger or texting. I also prefer face to face to phone too.