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Hi team,
I went on a speed dating event last night with a friend (in Liverpool, England) and thought I would report back on how I was applying some FDS greatness as well as a 'I am the prize' mentality.
Younger me might have felt the need to give these guys the benefit of the doubt or gloss over some shadiness in a bid to be liked, but here's who I spotted and vetted immediately:
A good looking guy in his 40s sat down and immediately complained about the cost of a glass of wine in the Hilton (where the event was). My gut yelled 'mean with money mean with love'
A confident and well heeled guy sat and asked me about the pay in my sector/whether it's high! (I work for charities) I I clapped back by making him aware of the 7% disparity in pay between his sector and mine and the level of responsibility involved in working at a senior level in charities. He soon shut up
Someone (albeit with a wicked sense of humour) invaded my personal space at the bar by trying to hug me, lean in close to me and buy me drinks. I politely but firmly brushed him off
A couple of the guys bristled and made comments about me ordering a glass of champagne for myself at the bar. Refer to point one
I hazard a guess that at least 4 of my 'dates' asked me my age. In retrospect WTF!
So in summary, whilst it was a disappointing selection there was a shift in my attitude in terms of me approaching this with an 'I'm the prize' mentality and not second guessing my 'no' tick. That in itself is miles from where I was a few years ago where I would have wanted to be liked.
It's also a really interesting exercise in seeing what people volunteer about themselves off the bat. People always reveal themselves.
Hope your Friday nights were all golden and free of scrotes x x
to be honest what i really love about being a woman is how men readily volunteer incriminating info about themselves without me saying a word. best superpower 🤭
Speed dating is full of LVM. Good men don’t need to hold women captive to speak to them.
I noticed this on my last date. The "I'm the prize" mentality really helps you lean back and let a man reveal himself.
In the past I'd be so excited to talk about myself and my accomplishments because i was so subconciously desperate to impress men. That got me nowhere.
Also speed dating sounds so ick. Just this parade of LVM all desperate for sex. I give you hella props for putting yourself through this lol
Thanks that was interesting I’d say you were having a little giggle to yourself now that you are fully aware of what scrotes are out there xx
When men ask rude questions like “how old are you?” a great reply is “Why do you ask?” and let him hang himself.
You have zero obligation to answer, you owe him nothing. Honestly, this works for all kinds of invasive questions, “Have you been married?” “Do you have kids” “How come you’re single?” Etc etc
re: the age question since it has popped up once or twice in my dating life...granted, I do look younger than I am and so there's usually a discrepancy between what age I appear to be and how I behave, so I can understand the curiosity, but I feel like it is kind of a rude question to ask up front?
Like maybe feel it out a bit, find out when they went to school or ask a question about childhood TV shows that might give you a clue to their age...instead of just being like "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" lol. That aggressively goes against the old-school rule--"never ask a woman her age." I wonder if men that ask this are just trying to gauge your susceptibility to their BS or if you'll be brag-worthy enough for their bros (like I snagged a 21 yo, or a hot MILF idk).
I'm rambling but thanks for reading and let me know if you have any input or similar experiences!