I was walking towards the door at starbucks to get me and my dad drinks, right as I turned the corner two huge gym bros almost met me at the door and me knowing how they are there's no way in hell men have manners anymore to open doors for women, so I flew through the door... at least I am one up in the line and not behind. I tend to be a slow walker lol. I can't even imagine other women's experiences but men holding doors open for women is a thing of the past these days, not even my mother who is 70 gets a pass from men having manners around her.
Cue waiting in line and hearing these massive dude gym bros in their manliest deepest voices start talking about their love lives. And what a shocker, they start talking about their rotations and rating the women they're talking to 5's, 6's 4's it's like they're talking about prize cattle. I'm standing in line being nosy listening to their conversation behind me while I'm poking around my phone playing PoGo rolling my eyes at everything they're talking about behind me.
One dude starts talking about how he's a 40 year old spring chicken and the woman he's talking to "has kids which makes things more difficult", etc. Interally, I'm like "hurry up line" and get me out of here. My social anxiety, over many years of battling that dragon, has given me like a sixth sense of horrible people and my internal alarms were ringing "RUN" at everything these dudes were talking about.
It was particularly uneventful nothing bad happened, but the reality of what men talk about to each other openly as if the world is one big open reddit page set fear in me. I witnessed a small sample size of that reality. Perhaps I'm wrong, I like to see the best in people. Sure that positivity has screwed me over in the past, maybe they're actually HVM, who knows? I don't know them personally, don't want to. I just heard the conversation and that was enough for me to want absolute distance and convince me to order ahead online from now on.
These are the men who are TERRIFIED of being laughed at by a woman.
Next time (if you feel safe and the situation warrants it) you could have a little fun and right before you're heading out, look back at these guys and stifle a laugh while smirking at them. It'll throw them off-kilter and really fuck with their heads.
You are not wrong and they are definitely not HVM lmao. The gym bros are physically attractive so they get away with being scrotes even more than the average men. I think it’s normal to want to order ahead online when you hear this type of toxic nonsense. However the sad truth is their conversation is what the vast majority of men think in their head. They just don’t tell women. If you have a hard time accepting this as the norm or a part of your life you might as well never leave home lol. A huge annoying responsibility we have as women is to simply coexist with scrotism
I have to say, men always open door for me and when I go to Starbucks, cafe or a restaurant, even if they don’t know me they wait and open the door for me to go in. I receive it, I say thank you, smile and go on with my day. Those men who rate women are insecure and they are trying to show off front of each other to make themselves feel good. The HVM I have in my life talk about business, real estate investments, properties, They discuss their kids, their kids future and what can they improve on as fathers.
As far as the door opening thing, I wonder if this is a regional thing. In my area, men are pretty good about opening doors and being observant around whose coming in/out etc. But self-centered gym bros do probably act the same everywhere. 😂
I wouldn't suggest avoiding going out. As a general rule, we shouldn't cede public space to men, especially men like this.
I *would* suggest coming up with some kind of comment or response to use in future situations that basically says "shut up, no one wants to hear your nastiness" or whatever. (It doesn't have to be that direct, though!)
Some (possibly dumb) examples to get you started.:
"Bruh, it's so lame that you are 40 and still talking about women that way!"
"Can you hold off on objectifying women for about 5 more minutes, so I'm out of earshot?"
"Hey, thanks for giving me an education on how grown ass men talk about women. I'll certainly be more careful about who I spend my time with."
babes they were talking like that because they knew you could hear them. And WERENT YOU IMPRESSED?! shocker
Reminds me of the time my friend and I were grabbing a quick bite at a McDonald's only a stone's throw away from the local red light district. Two scrotes older than our fathers sat down at the table beside ours and proceeded to talk about hookers.
They probably didn't think we can understand them because my friend and I were conversing in a different language.
Anyway, we gradually turned towards them with eyebrows raised until we were full on staring at them with WTF looks on our faces.
They slinked away 😆