I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a photo of a former guy friend of mine with his girlfriend. I saw this photo, amongst others, in a friend's photo album and I just remembered how gross I found him to be, which is why I cut him off. My friend is no longer friends with this guy either because of how insufferable he was and I stopped talking to him because he was inappropriate with me. We all met at uni where we all did the same degree.
This guy friend is called Alex and let's call my friend Amy. In some of our classes, for our group assignments, we could pick who we wanted to work together with while other times, the lecturer assigned us to a group. At different times, Amy and I had the displeasure of being in a group with Alex and we found him to be bossy, arrogant and nit-picky. That was the first thing that put us both off him.
He had some redeeming qualities which are what made him bearable and is why we didn't cut him off straightaway but what did it for me, is when we had all finished our degrees and were about to leave. I was back in my flat, getting ready to leave while he had moved to another city, for his new job when, during our text conversation, without any warning.........he asked me if I wanted to be f*ck buddies with him. I was gobsmacked for two reasons:
1) this guy had a girlfriend - though he never talked about her with me, Amy or our other mutual friends. I only happened to find out he had a girlfriend months into our friendship when I found his Facebook profile and saw some photos of him and her on his profile but lots of photos of him with her, on her profile. Her profile photo was of the two of them.
2) I had never given this guy a reason to think that I liked him in a romantic way while he had gone from being friendly to flirting with me subtly which I always ignored, thinking that he would get the message so I was shocked when halfway through texting, he randomly asked me if I want to be f*ck buddies. When I asked him why he was asking me such a random and gross question, he said that he found me attractive and liked that I was fun. He said that I could come over to his new place and stay with him for the time being 🤢.
I decided to see what he'd say when I asked him about his girlfriend; I wanted to see if he'd deny her or be honest about her so I proceeded to ask him if he was still with her and he told me that they weren't together. He thought he was smart by saying that they were not together, in the sense that she was in a different country (Spain) and while he was in the city we were both in (London). Now, not being together with someone in a relationship and not being together, geographically, are two different things but Alex tried to pass them off as being the same thing in that he literally said: "We're not together; she's in Spain, while I'm here, in London". I laughed at how dumb he must've thought I was to believe his lie and I could just imagine that if I chose to be silly enough to debase myself by sleeping with him, eventually, he'd kick me to the curb and say that he always had a girlfriend that he was together with; only that she was in a different country to him.
I told him off for asking me such a disgusting question and for insulting me by thinking that I'd ever want to be intimate with him. I also told him off for trying to cheat on his girlfriend with me, which showed a serious lack of respect for her and for me. Do you know what his response was? He was shocked! He kept saying that he had no idea why I was offended and that he would've thought that I would've been down to have some fun. He apologised but then said that he didn't really know why he was apologising as he didn't think he had insulted me. After giving him a full piece of my mind, I blocked him and have never spoken to him since.
This guy, while not my closest friend, was a guy I had considered a pretty decent friend but as usual, he chose to go down the douchebag route and chose his penis over our friendship. He genuinely thought that he could mess around with me while having a girlfriend in a different country. He showed me, along with other guys that were my friends that I have now blocked and cut off, that guys are never truly our friends and that if men have anything at all, it's the flipping audacity!