The Textuationshit

For a year, I was in a text- only LDR with someone I've known since childhood. We hadn't talked in many years and out of curiosity, I sent them a DM on FB while I was in our hometown for a vacation last summer. I didn't think they'd respond quickly so I logged out and didnt check it until I was ready to head home. We missed seeing each other by a day or 2, which kind of stunk.

We met in probably 3rd or 4th grade. Dude heavily pursued me. We spent days riding bikes and nights on the phone. However, I just wasn't that into him. I guess you could call him an "orbiter". He asked me out in 10th grade to a dance. Due to it being 1992, he had to rely on instructions, not constant communication and I ended up being stood up. We talked for a bit longer before he settled on another cheerleader. I remember being angryhappy that he found someone else. Her? They broke up and he pursued me in 11th grade but I was so grossed out about the girl, I still wasn't into him.

I saw him a few times during college and adulthood. We spoke on MySpace a time or 2. Tons of missed connections. When I'm single, he's taken and vice versa. We had both gotten married and he had a kid. I divorced first, then he divorced. He was now separated again.

Last year was the first time we really talked in years. It got hot and heavy quickly. Nudes. Mutuals. Lots of future talk. Hot and heavy.

Until..

He started showing his scrotum.

- texted to tell me that he was going to reconcile with his wife after her year- long hall pass. This lasted about a month. During the month, I found FDS.

About her. She was 21 when they met. He was 39. Moved her in very quickly to raise his kid, who is 8 years younger than the wife.

- has a female friend who uses him as an emotional tampon. He passed up calls with me to deal with her newest latest drama.

- his political rants. The irony of wishing death on someone and their entire family bc they're the hateful ones? This showed me how volatile and emotional this guy was. He would text me into a corner then demand I talk to him when I ignored him for a few days.

- Screamed and flipped out on a guy at his job. Emotional mess.

- is a white knight. "I ran an all- female team and never harassed or bothered them". Yeah, dont lead with that, dude.

Also, "a guy told my waitress he wanted to lick pudding out of her ass crack so I threw him out and beat him up. The girl was in hysterical tears so I had to save her."

- self described "good guy"

He continued to text me over the course of the year as we did plan to meet up this summer for our reunion. He still was in relationshit mode with me, while my fillings had severely dropped. He was an acquaintance from school to me. That's it.

- texts me spilling his guts about his feelings weeks before we'll see each other face to face, expecting me to reciprocate. No. We'll talk soon.

- asks for nudes. "Sorry.. I'm out the nude game bruh"

- obligated me early with the "good morning gorgeous" bullshit.

We did meet up at the reunion, and we talked for a bit. At the end...

- he asked for a kiss, bc he's "a gentleman". Put me in a shitty position, and reasoned with hinself that he was actually doing me a favor by asking (I'm sure theres a trendy buzzword for that!). Cornered. Trapped.

He didnt text me for a week or so once I had left but when he did, I finally blocked him. Couldn't delete him, bc I never saved his number to begin with.

Never again. I'm just done with him, with texting, with all of it. It was something I thought I needed at the time (attention, boredom) and when it had fulfilled it's purpose, it was done.

Never get into a textuationshit!