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Religious dude elevated because he's religious, as if people ascribing to a religion are inherently better? Check.
Getting with someone more outwardly religious than you? Check.
Thinking this man is religious despite him having pre-marital sex with you? Check.
Not using contraception because a made-up story tells you it's bad? Check.
Still thinking this 'religious' man is religious and a great guy despite his lack of contraception use resulting in him pressuring you into getting multiple abortions... all before you're even married in the eyes of your God? Check.
Finding out this 'religious guy' is a porn addict and still thinking he's a great guy? Check.
Having too many kids too quickly once married? Check.
Giving up your job despite spending years studying for it? Check.
Letting your husband control the finances? Check.
Thinking your religious husband is never going to cheat on you because he is 'religious'? Check.
Not divorcing your 'religious' husband because your made-up story tells you that you're going to hell divorcing this blatantly irreligious man who has the audacity to cheat on you while acting superior than you because of said made-up story? Check.
Consulting a pastor, who essentially gives you terrible advice, because you somehow think your religion is still right after all this and not patriarchy at its worst? Check.
Thinking trying to kill yourself will help your husband give a damn about you? Check.
Spreading that you're finally going to leave your husband within his hearing either through ignorance or as a sort of revenge, unaware of how vulnerable this now makes you? Check.
Thinking that your husband is a good parent when he treats you terribly as if that is possible? Check.
I feel so sorry for Lesley because she sounds like someone who had her whole life ahead of her when she met her husband. She didn't even like him much at first! But she did what a lot of vivacious young women do, and she decided to go for someone opposite to her in personality - someone who was a miserable loner (I wonder why? and I'm saying this as someone who has a very small, intentional, circle, but I'm a woman). The number of times I hear women saying they want someone to balance their personality out or that they like the dark broody types or they really like that someone like this loser sees them as special enough to come out of his lair? Eww. In reality, the way he sees others is how he's eventually going to see you too! And that warmth and energy he latched onto in you? He's going to put that out. He's going to drain your life force.
Why do these stories always follow the same path? Lesley Howell's husband killed her and after what sounds like years of subtly emotional abuse. She almost got out. It's terrible.
Colin Howell. This POS had a total of 9 kids before he was caught for the staged double suicide of his wife and his side-piece's husband. Or rather, he surprisingly confessed after he felt some religious guilt when his child died and he lost all his money. Finally. He also confessed to pressuring his wife and side-piece at the time into abortions, raping his dental patients (he loved to use tranquilisers). The new wife he had the 5 kids with KNEW that he had killed his wife and ex side-piece's husband, but it was all fine with her because they met at a Christian marriage event... he's so religious and so is she. They're amazing and everything is fine because they're Christian. She only had a problem with him when he inevitably cheated on. Just desserts, I guess?
This case annoyed the hell out of me because I've heard the strange narcissism of some religious people my whole life and for the women, it never serves them. I think religious women need to be extra careful when dating to marry.
We never, ever need a second opinion or external validation when we feel like something is wrong with our relationship. Most people are going to steer us right back into it. When they aren't treating you right, trust yourself and get out.
that sounds a lot like my parents