This is kind of sequel to a couple posts I wrote about a family friend (I'll call him FF) of my dad who asked me to go on a walk. It's not about me this time (though I'm sure it will be eventually). There is something I can't stop thinking about.
When I was a child, he and his children (who were about my age at the time) came over. I hung out with the girl, and my brother with the boy. I was about 5. I never saw them again, even though the family friend would come over every now and then.
I found out recently (via digging on FB and finding out the son by accident, and then I found his mother - but I never contacted them) that his ex-wife lost her "current" husband early this year. She had been married to him for over 20 years. That husband is always referred to as the father to those children. I know that the man is not their biological father, because those children look just like the FF (family friend). The man who died was their stepfather, but both children are unequivocal about referring to their stepfather as their father. The male child wrote on his FB an ode to his "father" on Father's Day and about how grateful he was that his "father" came into his life 30 years ago and that he's the best man he ever knew. The stepfather was loved by everyone who knew him. However -
I'm always weary of stepfathers, but this is a weird situation. It's a given that FF is a total creep - but how bad must the bio dad be if everyone, including the children, acknowledges the stepfather as the children's father? I can't figure out how to analyze this. What could possibly be wrong? What could the FF have done to cause this?
Also, I know all too well about men who are "loved by everyone." They can display an unsavory side to only one person yet no one will believe them. But anyway.
I’m going to say this as gently as possible, @hamburgerfries - I worry that you are analyzing FF so much. You’re even stalking his bio children and ex wife.
If he is truly a creep, rub him out of your life, completely. Let go of wanting to know more about him - even negative things. Avoid him at all costs.
And ask yourself: “what benefit am I receiving by researching this man and his children?”
And please stop doing it.
While most men are total trash, a few good ones exist. It’s possible that this stepfather was one of those rare men which is why his stepchildren see him as their father. It would be interesting to hear what his wife and the sister of this guy have to say about him because we know men idolise other men, regardless of those men’s behaviour. If they also have great things to say about him then that would confirm that he was truly a good egg.