So I came across this article about a Northern Irish facebook group for ladies who are basically trying to help each other avoid awful men in their locality. The article talks about a man who's upset that he's been named and shamed. It annoys me that I feel slightly sorry for him (not sure why because presumably he's done something to land himself there, also he used the word "females" which is a red flag to me). I just wish that men could generally be held accountable for their terrible behaviour when OLD (and in general!)
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We should absolutely be making counter-strategy websites.
Dating websites exist to make money, not to help people find true love.
I actually don't feel bad for the guys. Fucked around and found out. If you behave poorly it will and can backfire especially if it's documented with screenshots.
What's also interesting is the tone of the article, immediately judging any kind of attempt of women trying to protect themselves in an increasingly hosting dating environment.
Why didn't they talk about what these guys did that got them into the group and why they behave the way they do?
How about some responsibility of men to stop being shitty?
It's only character assasination if the claims are untrue, but if someone straight up got screenshots and proof of those guys' poor behavior on a public platform such as Tinder? Well bruh then you should carry the consequences.
I have very mixed feelings about this. I do feel sorry for this man that he has no right of reply or access to the details as to why he landed there. But, women's right to safety is far more important and I agree that men need to be accountable for their behaviour.
My local page is run pretty well. The rules are enforced and I am grateful to the women who are victims of domestic violence have bravely come forward to warn others that their ex is on the apps.
My city also has a page run by men to warn other men of abusive women. In six months, only two women have been posted about, compared to the multiple daily posts for the women-led one about men 🤪
Protecting the safety of women is far more important than the potential "embarrassment" for men. A lot of the men that get posted on these pages (with receipts) often have red flags all over, so I don't really feel sorry for them. People aren't getting to the root of the problem with these behaviours (lack of mental health support and accountability, bad parenting) so it makes sense that women try to come up with their own solutions.