Anyone else discover that they had a secret pickme friend all along?

A friend I made over a year ago has just shown that she was a pickme all along. When we met, we were both single and she started talking about how men can’t be trusted, how she learnt about how bad men are from her own brother who is a typical LV guy and had lots of FDS talking points. I felt happy, though cautious, that I had become friends with a woman who had decentered men. I was right to be cautious because bit by bit, she exposed herself to be a pickme in disguise and is as pickme as it gets. This has happened where I’ve had female friends who do the same thing as men - tell you what you want to hear in order to have access to you and change slowly, but surely and show you who they really are.

When we met, despite talking about how LV so many men are, she told me she was on dating apps. She told me about knowing the dangers of using them but said that she’d be fine because she knew how to vet men. She’s a white Latina and matched with a guy from my country (I’m a POC). She seemed excited to go on the date but she made some comments that were borderline racist. She seemed quiet concerned that she’d be on a date with a non-white guy and said she didn’t know how it would go because she’d never dated a man of that race before. I was confused because it’s simple; if race matters to you so much then date your own kind or date a person that is of a race you prefer. Why match with and agree to go on a date with a guy you seem to be almost scared of because he’s not your typical type (i.e. white)? I should’ve told her how I didn’t appreciate the comment but she seemed to quickly catch what she said and went on to say that she was just worried that they wouldn’t have much in common despite talking a lot on the app since people can be awkward in person. In the end, he ghosted her and she was disappointed by it which is clearly due to her ego being bruised because she was 50/50 about meeting him.

She then reconnected with a guy she went on two dates with. He’s Italian and nothing to write home about but yet she was going on about how handsome he was. Spoiler alert: he’s not. He’s very skinny and has a receding hairline he hides with his Justin Bieber combover hair (Circa 2009). On the first date, he paid and then on the second date, he said they should split the bill. He eventually paid when they got into a bit of an argument because she insisted that he pay as he’s the guy and he invited her out. He claimed to not have a problem paying but felt that as they were getting to know each other that they should both contribute to the bill. She then ghosted him and got in touch with him around the time she and I met. I told her to leave him alone as we know that men are petty, vindictive and unforgiving. This guy wouldn’t have forgotten that she ghosted him and would’ve made her pay in one way or another. She told me he “wasn’t like that” because she “knows him”….only for him to prove me right. They started texting, she explained why she ghosted (reasons being that she didn’t like his behaviour on the second date and she didn’t feel like she was over her ex boyfriend who she dated before meeting me), they met up for a date, he paid, they went back to his place, he pushed for sex, she resisted, he pretended to be okay with it, she left his place and never heard from him again. She was so disappointed while telling me all this and I wondered what she was surprised by when she acts as if she knows what men are really like. I saw this coming a mile away but in her own words, she still “believes in Prince Charming” 🙄 and thought he’d be different.

She then met up with another guy with the intention of having a ONS. Despite telling me that that’s all she wanted, when he ghosted her afterwards she was disappointed yet again.

She now has a new boyfriend she met on Hinge or Bumble and spends every breaking moment with him. The last time I saw her, she came dressed in an incredibly short, flimsy dress in freezing weather (we met up when it was extremely cold) and then asked me to bring her a jumper because, as she told me, she only has sexy clothes at his place and has no practical or warm clothing.

She practically lives with this guy and is always posting him on her Instagram. She’s told me how she’s worried about her finances because they’re always going out and despite him paying most of the bill, she contributes a small amount which still takes a lot out of her pocket as earns much more than her (he works in finance).

When we met, she told that she was childfree as she had never felt motherly and finds children annoying. She’s now done a 180 and is saying that she wants to have children but is worried about how she’s going to raise and relate to them.

Lastly, she’s a foreigner and needs a work visa in order to stay in the city we’re in. She’s currently in a job that is allowing her work as a contractor but they’ve told her that sponsoring her is very unlikely. Before this boyfriend, she was working hard on figuring out how she could stay on with this company or find another sponsored job. You can guess and would be correct if you guessed that: she’s abandoned all of that planning because of said boyfriend. She told me that he said he’d marry her in order for her to stay in the country so she’s stopped working on finding a job that will keep her here. The sad part is she really believes him and is leaving such a big decision in his hands. She seems to have forgotten that she told me she doesn’t want to go back to her country as she loves being here and feels that the job prospects here are better.

My birthday just passed and when she asked me on the day what I’d be doing, I told her I’d be chatting with family and friends who would be calling for my birthday, amongst other things She then asked when my birthday was, behaved as if I had never told her and was shocked when I told her that that day, was indeed my birthday. I thought she’d quickly figure it out since I literally said family and friends would be calling me to celebrate with me 🙄.

I’m always amazed at how women will talk a good game about knowing the truth about men and how we should be careful, when they’re single and recovering from the hurt a man put them through but the minute a man is in the picture, all sense and self-respect flies out the window. They drop their boundaries, needs and and wants and make the man their entire personality. I’m tired of meeting women who behave this way. It’s pathetic and disingenuous on their part to pretend to not be that way and then like a LV man, quietly show aspects of who they really are and not think you’ll notice. At this point, I have no interest in continuing a friendship with her.

Anyone currently going through this or have a story that’s similar? How disappointed from a scale of 1 - 10 did you feel after you found out that your friend wasn’t who you thought them they were? I’d love to hear from everyone else.