Hi Ladies,
Thought this was an interesting post about women who fall on the asexual spectrum. I personally have been celibate and not dating for 5 years, but I think I might even have developed asexuality as a result of a lifetime of narcissistic abuse in my childhood and meeting only narc men as an adult who sexually, financially and emotionally abused me. I think part of the reason for turning asexual is the idea of ever having sex with a man again makes me want to dry heave, just because of all the ways they gaslighted, abused and mistreated my body and emotions. It's like handing a two year old a $100 bill. That two year old will just rip it to pieces and not understand the value of it. It's the same way a lot of men treat women in general.
It's hilarious how angry they get when they know they'll never get sexual access to you 😂
Check out the link to the post on asexual women here:
same, girl. same i used to be straight. then men traumatized me repeatedly, now i'm asexual. i can't even masturbate properly. the fuckers have ruined my sexuality. but you know what? good for me 'cause that lowers the chances of a man ever touching me again.
Men are so angered by "asexual" women because they can't use sex and love against us as a control tool. This is an old story, it started with the invention of the "frigid woman" or even earlier, with the demonization of the "spinster". I hate the word asexual to be honest and how it's being used lately. I'm sure asexuality exists, but with celibate women in most cases we should call it by its name: sexual trauma or trauma induced male repulsion. Celibate does NOT equal asexual. I'm not "asexual", I just refuse to partake in men's degrading and impersonal version of sex. They want us to brand this as "asexuality" so they can continue to claim that sex is what they say it is, and make us feel bad about wanting something different. No thanks. I am very much sexual, I just don't think most men deserve my sexuality.
I'm pretty sure that I fall on the asexual spectrum too, though I've never really suffered from abuse (I'm also still a virgin and I've never been in a relationship). I'm pretty sure for me it's because of my autism and being touch averse. Never wanted my mom or my friends to hug me either until pretty recently.
The idea of someone (anyone) touching me sexually makes me want to dry heave too. So sex for me is completely off the table. It's partly why I don't care as much about getting into a relationship as others. Everything I would want from a relationship, I can already get from my friends.
I do feel horny in my thoughts but I never even masturbate and the thoughts just fizzle out and disappear.
Been single and celibate for 4.5 years and even before my last relationship, I was celibate by choice (single or dating). It's really effortless in my case so I wonder if I fall somewhere on the ace spectrum.
It's always meh to see men try to justify the need for women to perform sexually for their wants, especially women who are clearly not interested in doing so. And in case of ace celibate women, the rejection is not even personal.
But noooo, muh nEeDs. Tch.
I have been celibate for 2 years, due to Narc abuse. It would be easier if I were asexual, but I am not. I have a healthy normal to high libido, and miss sex greatly. But not enough to allow a male to use my body. Even if I enjoyed it, it would still feel like he's using me. It would be so weird at this point. To allow a penis inside me.. 😫 I just couldn't live with myself if I allowed another male to hurt me again.
Every woman I've personally encountered who've told me they are Ace are with the wrong person. Either they are with a ZVM, or in one case came out as a lesbian. I really am starting to think of it as a learned behaviour and not a "genuine" sexuality.
This post and the replies are confirming!
This needs to be amplified! 📢 FDS logic in the comments.
I feel you! Recently I've been thinking I might be asexual for completely different reasons. I like romantic things but anything having to do with sex has always really bored me. I've sometimes fallen asleep during long sex scenes in movies or books because it's about as interesting as watching paint dry for me. In other words, I've never figured out what everyone else seems to like in sexual things. Maybe one day I'll suddenly feel differently but I doubt it.
The casual way that other women around me mention celebrities who they would like to sleep with makes me feel like everyone around me has these special urges I've never felt, though I've faked feeling them sometimes to fit in.
I hope you find a way to heal more from your trauma! I'm working through my own grief-related trauma and its hard, but any progress is still progress.