I really feel that we should have this mindset before we go on a date because:
1. You will go on fewer dates because you will recognize that you really want to avoid having to do this. You will no longer force yourself to spend time with men that you are not attracted to or who annoy you. We are taught to “duty date” but this is draining and demoralizing. I would rather go on a few dates that I am excited about than go on dates that feel like a waste of time. Also, it is a lie that you need to be good at dating to find a healthy relationship. Being good at dating only means that you are good at dating- and many men who are good at dating are players/LVM.
2. Being prepared to exit is a valuable skill in both dating and relationships. Dating is more dangerous for women so honoring your gut and leaving is about safety, self- esteem and confidence building.
3. Given our cultural conditioning, we are taught to be nice at our expense. I seriously think I no longer struggle with anxiety because I have learned what situations to avoid and to honor my gut feelings. My anxiety was generated by pushing down my feelings and feeling guilty about not being “open minded”.🤢.
(Open mindedness is weaponized against women to lower our standards and push our boundaries. You do not have to be open minded about things that you have tried before and/or anything that could jeopardize your safety.)
Love this! I left a date after like 30 minutes once. It's becoming easier to do as I get older.
Yepp. I’ve whittled down my dates by about 90%. I’d rather have high quality experiences with people I truly enjoy. Even if we don’t end up being compatible it’s far less draining than slugging through drink dates with men I don’t like, aren’t really attracted to, and who generally don’t excite me. By the time I’ve unmatched from simple red flags such as high curiosity about my job and low effort dates, there are much fewer choices anyway