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I meet this guy on Tinder and we hit it off. We went on a date to meet and he was great. He was a gentleman and paid and contributed equally to the conversation. There was a real connection. We meet in person a handful more times in the following weeks but ultimately went our separate ways after his landlord suddenly decided to move home and evicted this guy and his roommate (verified). We both expressed similar feelings about this, suggesting he take some time to sort his shit out and I'd just keep on keepin on. No bs excuses or false promises, it wasn't like that.
A few months later he started texting me and expressing remorse and felt the decision to halt seeing each other had been made hastily because of heightened emotions during a stressful time (cool story lol). But because we'd had that connection I responded and said maybe but I'm not gonna just jump back in and see him right away. I wanted to start over and make sure it was worth pursuing.
I ended up getting cold feet after having several other major decisions to make in my own life and told him that dating was no longer a priority for me. He was nice enough about that (I thought) and seemed to genuinely get it. He'd send a few more texts after that letting me know he still was here for me if I just wanted to talk. He acted like I'd expect a genuine friend to act.
That only lasted a month or two before his texts started sounding increasingly desperate. Emphasizing how strong our connection had been and things we'd laughed about and were passionate about. Most of his messages came at regular daytime hours and were definitely sober-talk. But one night in particular, after he'd been drinking, he would text me saying things like he felt like he'd already been questioning if he may have started to feel love, and how sorry he was for not trying harder after accepting that. Then it got real weird/drunk and he said shit like "I'm serious, what can I do to have another chance? Do you want a kid? I'll give you a kid! I fell in love with you hard and fast and I've never felt something so real."
I ignored all of this but he's at it again tonight and since I'm new here I thought it'd be an interesting discussion! To be clear, I have no intention of even replying right now, let alone seeing him again. I'm on to other things but I'd like us to shed some light on some of the red flags and signs that this would have been an unhealthy endeavor (in my own opinion, but if you disagree I'd love to know why!). What does desperation like this say to you? When does it go from infatuation to obsession (in general)? Or just laugh with me about these drunk texts haha either way!
Edit because I had a follow up thought: when might this be considered sweet and when is it definitely not? Does past behavior make a difference?
