For almost a decade, I've been a content creator around film. I have languished in almost total obscurity. I've watched other people amass large followings while I've struggled despite posting consistently and creating meaningful content that is original and unique to who I am.
I once had dreams for my project and had even hoped to make it a side income or primary income. Those were fantasies, of course. The people who do find me, connect deeply to what I create, but it has become exhausting to keep sharing my heart and getting little in return for it.
I often wonder if I should just let it all go and move on and accept that it didn't work out. I could never build a supportive community for reasons I don't fully understand. I don't feel appreciated or lifted up all that much. It's like I keep throwing things into the void.
Social media has also changed a lot. It's not really made for those who are more unique. The algorithm seems to favor conformity. Since the pandemic, people are just more detached online. Overall, there is a lack of warmth or engagement despite how much I do try. Online stuff also skews to the young while I'm in my 30s and feel irrelevant for the most part.
It's just hard to share my voice and feel like it goes nowhere or isn't appreciated. I'm not sure what else to do to grow or reach people. Yeah, maybe some things are meant to be small, but it's not easy to grind away at something for years and years and not see much improvement in terms of followers, likes, etc. I question why I keep doing it at all. I know we can't always gauge our impact or how our voices might be received, but it gets very lonely and frustrating and, overall, it's just not good for my mental health.
But I find myself grieving it all, wishing things had worked out for me and that my project had taken off. It's hard to let go of a dream or to accept that what you'd hoped for just isn't going to happen the way you want. Maybe I can't accept my smallness. I look at others who have larger followings but offer no originality and I do get resentful. I'm not proud of it. I wonder why them and not me? I know it's pointless. I have no control over it. I've done my best.
How do you cope this in your life? Just feeling like you're toiling away at something that never goes anywhere? Letting go of a dream? It's kind of painful for me right now.
Sometimes it is time to let go of a dream. if that genuinely feels like what is right for you, at this time, then yes, you will need to grieve it and go through all the stages, eventually finding something new to invest yourself into.
Sometimes it;s time to grieve an old/current iteration of a dream.
some things to consider as you weight it all up and explore what;'s right for you: 1. No such thing as over night success. Most big 'instant' successes we're 10, 20, 30+ years in the making.
2. Everyone has their own timeline. There is no rule book.
3. Consider looking for the opportunuity/ies available in your failures/not finding the success you were hoping for. This could look like, for example, repurposing your skills into something adjacent that provides value to someone else's project/s (long or short term) (and rewards you), or, an opportunity to learn more about audience building and marketing and business.
4. Sometimes we just experience a kind of burnout/fatigue and need to step away, for rest and perspective, and then come back refreshed and newly inspired.
If I may:
"I could never build a supportive community for reasons I don't fully understand. I don't feel appreciated or lifted up all that much. It's like I keep throwing things into the void." 1. communications/copywriting skill imporvement may help
2. we do need positive feedback in some way from what we're doing, but if you're looking for validation from your audience, you will not be able to sustain your prcatice, which is what I think you are experiencing for sure. can you find a way to get back in touch with your 'why' and let that feed you?
3. that's a SUCKY feeling. I would suggest look at how you can 'game' the algorithm (or if that feels ICK, consider OTHER ways/channels you might be able to reach/find your people).
Of course, you may have already explored these things, and more, and /or feel you have exhausted your options/desire.
consider getting a business/success coach or finding a community of people/mentor if you really want to try breaking through and not giving it up just yet.
otherwise, if it'stime to let it go, do that! you get to evolve and move on in
life and try different things. no one can tell you what the right move is, just make sure you're happy wiht your decision either way because we are the ones that live with the results those decisions. :)
Who knows, maybe you will put it to rest, and later it will come back to life in some new way.
Just know that you surely learned and grew from the experience and you tried! Always a worthy thing.
I'm in a similar position. I have been making content for 8 years and my following is fairly small. It's my first project and I'm so emotionally invested in it. I had hoped to be able to make a living from it, but alas, it's too niche. I'm preparing myself to let it go soon.
I totally get the resentment when people make the same things thousands of other people make and succeed 😞
I try to list positive things I got by working on my content. It brings me comfort because the experience isn't for naught. For one, I learned a great deal of things that enabled me to make money by selling my skill. And that I have met wonderful people on the journey.
I'm also trying to analyze what I did right and wrong and find ways to get more exposure so that the next project will do better.
Remember that we are not failures. I hope you find the answer to what is best for you!
A virtual hug to you from a fellow content creator!
If you have that small fan base focus on them. It's like watering, nurturing and tending to a garden. Even if it's just for an audience of one--yourself.
I am a screenwriter in the entertainment industry so I can kinda understand what you're going through because we are paid peanuts and aren't appreciated at all despite everyone relying on us. After I went to grad school I was unemployed for two years and really was in a bad place mentally. I realise now I was really burned out and I needed to rest but my hustle grind perfectionist mindst was killing me slowly. I found joy in my creativity by creating for fun without agenda. If it was fun to me I did it. I had a small following of 15k on TT, but i haven't posted in a year because it doesn't give me joy right now. Instead I picked up a childhood hobby I loved and started reading. I am now writing more than I was writing the last few years. I also did the book "The Artist's way" by Julia Cameron. I really recommend this for burned out creatives. It helps us feel safe to just create again with joy. Don't rely on outcomes or validation from others. It has to come from within.
That's the sucky part of social media, some get good views for dumb things and the ones who publish good content get almost nothing. That's why I never saw myself having many followers, So I focus on a dream that that creates the best oppertunities.