Specifically dating related. I imagine people will wonder "What did she do?" so I'll come out with it, it was PDA overkill at a dance party with someone I am dating. Not like straight up sexual acts but too much making out and grinding to where he....visibly responded to it and I had to shield him. Thankfully I did not know any patrons but some of the staff does know us. No alcohol involved, this was just me. It was not HV and I hold myself to a higher standard of self-control than that, to keep those things behind closed doors.
I embarrassed myself and would like to evaluate my self-discipline strategies. Whenever I see someone F'ed up on here, it seems like everyone encourages to give the self grace. But a militant part of me also wants to- not exactly "punish" myself out of some masochistic sense but- exact semi-harsh consequences to ensure I do not do that again. And no, I haven't fully figured out what that looks like for my situation, it is too fresh.
Does anyone ever feel that way and do you think it helps to incorporate into your self-response, or harms, and that self-compassion is the only way?
I agree with the others here! Nothing wrong with this. 😊
If it still bothers you, or if there’s more to the story, here’s what I do to correct LV or unhealthy patterns in myself. I ask, “Why am I doing this? What is the benefit for me here?”
We continue unhealthy habits because they are serving us somehow. Maybe they help us feel significant, or we’re lonely, or we’re afraid - so we act out. It could be overeating, drinking too much, sexual acts that we regret later, or staying in unhealthy relationships with family/friends/men.
With self-compassion, ask yourself what are you getting. Then decide if it’s worth letting go of That Thing You’re Getting, to live in a healthier way.
❤️🩹