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I have been going to see this guy and so far, something is off.
Today, I was playing around and joking about his messy car and habits. With his permission, I opened his glove compartment and I found some items that belonged to a girl. I found a letter with a girls name on it and three pairs of sunglasses. With the letter, he said it was a friend that moved far away and the sunglasses he has no idea who they belong to. Furthermore, the letter seems like it was written by a little girl thanking the receiver for playing with her. Now, I may have access to his girl's name.
We have only one mutual guy friend and this guy friend is HV, so I assumed he was HV and gave him a chance. Should I contact the mutual guy to ask about him?
I have this gut feeling, that his girl is still in the picture. I've learnt that quite often, girls leave stuff like hair ties to warn other girls to stay away. On one hand, it could be that he's lazy and doesn't clean his car, but like, her stuff is still there... idk but when you break up with someone no matter how lazy and messy you are, aren't you suppose to trash your exe's things?
Call me jealous, irrational, or over analytical, Idc... but it has to end. I'm going to have to end things with him.
It's sad because he was the first guy that wanted to date me after my very first break up, but I think the dots are finally connecting where he's always asking me to come over to his place.
In about a few days, we are meeting up for tennis practice, and I plan on ending things with him in private. Idk if I should bring up the glasses, but I do plan on telling him that it's probably for the best that we stop seeing eachother and and just continue to play tennis. I plan to make some bs excuse.
The reason why I don't want to ask him about the sunglasses is because he might probably lie. Part of me wants to hear his side of story, because I want to be fair... although I felt like I heard them tonight.
I could really use your opinion, and kind words as I feel extremely vulnerable at this moment. This was technically supposed to be my second relationship, but... it's not working out. My head is spinning now...
It's getting so hard to find someone to share my life with. At this point, I might as well just be alone. It's been 5 years since someone showed interest in me, I'm losing hope, and I don't think I can take another heartbreak. I can't wait another decade for someone else to come along, and I don't want to be a homewrecker.
Update: I checked his socials, there is a girl that matches the description. It's over.
He has no idea why there's 3 pairs of sunglasses in his glove compartment? Really? I know everything that is in my car. If anything popped up that was not familiar, I'd be freaking out that someone has broken into my car or has a key. He's a liar.
Sis stop torturing yourself and listen to your gut feeling which is always right!! Even your update proves that! Men are dime a dozen and abundant. They are easily replacable and you don't ever have to get hung up on some scrote who's still not over his ex and lying to you
Oh come on. You know what's up here. Doesn't know why there are three pairs of sunglasses and a handwritten letter in his car my ARSE.
Also, why are you going to his house in his disgusting messy car when you hardly know him and aren't in a relationship with him?
p.s. just saw your edit: not surprised in the slightest, though I am sorry that you've had an encounter with such a dud.
p.p.s. unknowingly getting involved with a lying, cheating bastard doesn't make you a homewrecker. Can we please stop using that kind of misogynistic language, thanks.
"I do plan on telling him that it's probably for the best that we stop seeing each other and just continue to play tennis."
-I understand when speaking to him in person why you'd want to tell him you two should just be tennis partners. In actuality, I recommend not ever playing with him again.-
"The reason why I don't want to ask him about the sunglasses is because he might probably lie."
-He already lied about the sunglasses. He knows who they belong to, he just didn't want to share that information with you.-
Liar liar dick on fire!
I'm sure your vagina would've felt on fire with the STDs he would have given you if you'd continued seeing him.
Well done on ending it. Make sure you block his phone numbers, emails, and social media accounts. All of them. And keep them blocked. Never assume a scrote of this caliber won't turn into a stalker.
Stop having the scarcity mindset when it comes to men. This is the kind of thinking that keeps us in horrible relationships. You did your own recon and got the facts, don’t give him the opportunity to lie and manipulate you sis.
Some serial killers keep trophies. These are exactly that, trophies, items that he can touch and think back on the person that he stole from. Get out NOW.
Well, that guy is obviously a scrote and stringing along multiple girls at the same time but I'd still like to comment on the headline:
If they are personal items, absolutely not normal. Things like clothes, sunglasses or things that are expensive or hard to replace should ideally be returned to the ex, cheap stuff (like bath products, hair ties etc.) and relationship related stuff (like letters, romantic gifts etc.) should be thrown away or sold, in my opinion.
The only exception would be stuff that's really random... I'm pretty sure I have a screwdriver or tupperware container that originally belonged to an ex somewhere. That kind of stuff.
Photos can be difficult if they are tied to important milestones/ life events or there are other loved ones in the picture, but romantic and couple photos should definitely go. If the last existing picture of you with your deceased grandma or the pictures of you graduation also have your ex in the background, I won't blame you for not throwing them out.
I really need a tennis buddy. I hope you can find one that's not a lying cheat like this guy. I completely understand the feeling of getting attached and then wondering why bother when it becomes apparent that they're just repeatedly wasting your time. It's not a reflection of you and please do keep in mind that we're constantly underestimating ourselves as women. Mute those horrible voices in your head.
Idk if it's strange. I've got things from all my past bfs and husbands. Pictures, old wedding ring, etc. I don't keep it cause I love them anymore. I keep them because it was a part of my past. It was who I was. It was my life experience. It's nostalgia. I would be very upset it a male decided to tell me to get rid of all my memories. my ex tried that and I did rip up some pictures but I shouldn't have had to. If that person is truly in your past. You don't speak to them at all and have zero ways of contacting them, I dont see a problem with it. That said, I'm a woman. These are males. Males could have different reasons.