I (22F) went on a date with a guy from Bumble (29M) and he followed me on Instagram before we met up. I saw that he only posted travel pictures and a few pictures of himself, and he had one photo that somebody took of him holding hands with his ex girlfriend from behind so you can’t see her face. In his tagged photos, there are several photos from her page of them together when they were still a couple last year.
Before going on an in-person date with him I asked a few of my friends and searched online to see what people think about keeping photos of exes on social media profiles.
Personally, I never post photos of people I am dating, and I delete every photo of exes from my camera roll when the relationship is over.
However, I read the opinions of many people online who say they keep photos up because it’s their “history” that will never change, or they are simply too careless to delete it, and some men say that if their ex is “super hot” they’ll keep the photos up just so that other women they date will be like wow he must be top shit if he dates attractive women.
I ignored my gut feelings and went on the date. Surprise surprise, he mentions his ex within the first 5 minutes of conversation. It was after I mentioned my career goals that he compared his exes career goals to mine. He continues to tell me that she was very “insecure and jealous” because he lives as an “independent man“ (in other words, he probably did suspicious shit and cheated) and they lived together for a year, she wanted to get married and have kids but he didn’t.
Also, it became clear to me that he took pride in destroying his exes self-esteem, probably because she has a large following on Instagram as a model/influencer so she definitely does not have limited dating options and he must’ve been insecure/jealous of her.
I knew that there wasn’t going to be a second date because I had to refuse his suggestion to get a hotel for us to have sex towards the end of our date. He made it clear that his goals were only to have sex with me. After I told him that I don’t have causal sex, he told me that he is going to travel this summer and will hook up with other women, and that I should date other men until he comes back so we can continue to date... LMFAO
This was my first date with a guy after 8 months of not dating/remaining celibate. Quite a negative experience even though I tried to remain optimistic and have fun while vetting throughout the process. Now I know that it’s definitely a red flag to keep photos of exes because it means unfinished business. What do you think?