My ex husband of 15 years was large downstairs. How can you tell with potential future partners?

There's this idea -among men that is-that they are "a grower, not a shower"

That may be true for some men. I personally think that if I can't readily see his form in his pants while not aroused, that it's never going to grow to an above average size while aroused.

I've never*not* been able to tell whether a man has a sizable member while really making out. He should get physically aroused from that. Also, if he doesn't get hard from a passionate make out session, I highly suspect an addiction to porn. So there's that as well ...

It’s a tough one because penis size can be a bit of a surprise and it doesn’t correlate overall body mass. I’d say signs of high testosterone generally are a good starter - like a deep voice, builds muscle easily, etc. I definitely wouldn’t ask a man directly, though! I think it‘s the kind of question which only scrotes will like, and then for the wrong reasons.

This one is difficult. One can generally guess the size once you've gotten a bit further than just making out. I usually can guess if a man is big when dry humping but that could take months, depending on the pace of the relationship. It is a massive dissapointment when the guy has been doing it all right and you finally feel him and he's not good enough in that department.

I think you have to wait until you make out heavily. This doesn’t mean it’s gonna lead to sex. But at least if you’re making out and he gets aroused it’s a good sign that everything works and you can take a feel.

But unfortunately it’s a surprise. 🤷‍♀️

You might have to wait until you’re months in before you see it

Nothing wrong with preferring a jackhammer and not a mini wiener 😄

I don't think there's a way, unfortunately, without seeing it or feeling it erected. I with there was, though. When I was in my early twenties, I dated a guy who was very tall with broad shoulders, so strong and so handsome. Dreamy! And he was so sweet, gentle, attentive, and loving, too. I developed feelings for him way before we became physical, but when we finally ended up in bed, there was a surprise - he had a very, very small penis. I was so shocked by this discovery that I barely remember how the rest of the night went besides the fact that I couldn't even tell if he was in. Imagine being in love with a man and having all this attraction and desire built up with so much passion between us, just to end up laying there, wondering if his penis is in you or not. It was like we pretended to have sex. The most confusing and underwhelming sexual experience in my life.

I saw 10 hard d*cks in my life and the men who had the biggest and most beautiful ones all had long legs and arms. With a slender body type. And they were really quiet and easygoing. All the "talkers" weren't that well equipped.

This is going to sound weird but honestly, I've noticed that it's the skinny guys who have the biggest D's. A lot of males feel that having a large D is enough so they don't need to bother with getting big muscles. Many small dick males and short males will overwork themselves in the gym to get huge muscles to overcompensate for their smallness. It's not a hard and fast rule, but it is definitely something I've noticed. Skinny guys usually have BDE (big dick energy)

And I just want to throw in there that a guy doesn't have to be "large" to feel good..I know that's what you're used to. But you might be surprised that you can enjoy a smaller one too. I don't mean like 4in small. But a nice thick 6 incher, I can throughly enjoy:)

Hmm I haven't even had that many partners and can debunk every single one of these correlations based on build, height, voice, and facial features. There seems to be no connection whatsoever, but if you go swimming and can see the outline I think that's pretty reliable. Also if you get comfortable enough to make a small dick joke, you can probably gather a lot from their reaction 😂.

Slightly different view - it's not their size, but what they do with it. I've had very average sized men be incredible in bed and take pleasure in pleasing me and had very well endowed men who do their bare minimum because they think the size is more than enough.

I'm personally wiling to give the benefit of the doubt until we have communicated what we each like and see how we mesh. If won't try after communication and effort, the it's a no from me.

Look out for men with big noses and/or big feet.

https://nypost.com/2023/06/22/men-with-long-noses-have-bigger-penises-new-study/

Casually bring up that article you read on an intriguing article you stumbled upon that claims that finger lengths might be a nifty penis size predictor (wink wink) in a conversation, and let him do the talking. If he’s a bragger, bingo! If he’s shy, well, the size of the mystery remains unsolved. https://blog.swingtowns.com/sex/scientists-think-your-fingers-could-be-a-penis-size-predictor/

The best sex I’ve had was with an ex who had a barely average penis size. He just knew how to use it and it was HOT. That being said, most men don’t know how to use it and we are left at least looking for something sizeable to compensate

I love this question and I applaud you for asking it.

In my experience it has always correlated with a man's overall physique and proportions. I.e. the taller/beefier/more muscular guys I've been with have always had bigger dicks, whereas shorter/scrawnier guys have always been disappointing. It doesn't seem like that jives with other women's experiences though based on other responses here so I guess you never know.

https://www.menshealth.com/health/a38123633/index-finger-penis-size-ratio-tiktok/ this article says you can predict size by their fingers