After a lovely weekend spending time with my boyfriend, he expressed to me that he fears that we may have fallen into a sugar daddy/sugar baby dynamic. He also went on to say that he would like to ensure that he isn’t being taken advantage of. Now, this conversation comes on the heels of many, many months of him selecting pricier restaurants for our dates and in the moment happily paying the bill; and when we do cook at home, he also suggests shopping at pricier markets. I am not above eating a middle range or even lower end restaurant from time to time, I have never demanded that he take me out to high end restaurants regularly. However, today he was implying that I’ve been high maintenance in my requests, when in fact I’ve always been open to variety of types of restaurants and date ideas.
Over the weekend he also insisted in buying me an intimate toy (something I could have quite frankly gone without). However, he insisted he wanted to purchase something to enhance my intimate experience so I agreed. When we entered the intimate shop, he was happy to let me select what ever I wanted, and he happily paid the $200 bill for the items.
Now, today he claims that his intention was to only buy something for $40 and yet he voiced none of these expectations beforehand.
He claims he wants to make me happy but he doesn’t want to give the impression that he can do extravagant things all the time. I now feel guilty.
This is not the first time something like this has happened.
Why does it seem that men present themselves as generous and adventurous, when all along they resent spending money on you ?
Also, is it possible that he is just projecting the stress he is experiencing by having to financially support his household, his ex wife’s household, and his children ?
I would not date someone who is supporting an ex-wife. He needs to support her, yes, but I don't want to date him.