So, I notice I project my horniness onto the LVM around me who happen to resemble something I’m attracted to. I think this is why I have slept with LVM in the past, I created an idealized version of someone I know who’s kinda attractive so I have something to direct this energy into.
I want a change because it’s negatively effecting my standards. When I fantasize about these scenarios it makes me want to act them out the more I do it, and I find myself excusing or overlooking bad behavior. While I love and crave the dopamine, I don’t want to go down that road again. I know from MANY past experiences that it’s just not worth it. I do still end up there once every long while and I suspect what I’m describing here is a big contributor.
Someone on here (or on the sub?) suggested fantasizing about a fictional character instead of someone in real life. Last year I looked into some romance novels but found a lot of them to have misogynistic storylines which didn’t seem like a good alternative.
I remember the same thread talking about getting to know yourself sexually so you can be equally fulfilled whether you have a partner or not, but I have no idea where to start on that or how to gauge my progress on that particular road. My arousal (like most women’s) is very linked to it being about a storyline, scenario, or person, so I’m very curious about how that fits into all of that.
Do you have any recommendations for romance novels (hetero and/or wlw)? Or a different suggestion for what to do with my libido?
Any other thoughts or comments on the topic are also very welcome!