I'm getting a lot of "nice guy"(tm) shit from dudes who treated me as disposable as a human when I was fat now that ive lost weight.
Like, I wouldnt want to date a fat or obese guy, but I also wouldn't torture them.
Dudes who straight up treated me like I wasn't a person a few years ago are pretending that they're kind people, and they aren't.
I'm even getting OUR rhetoric from them; "fat women usually are going through something and deserve respect."
They think I'm fucking stupid. They're the same dudes who acted like I wasn't a person. I'm literally getting dms with like, a two year gap between "id hit that, with my car" to "hey gorgeous," and you can see the dates with no messages in between.
Men are fucking vile predators.
I'm just blocking, but I know they're playing victim, like I'm a stick up bitch for "victimizing" them.
They need to be in unnamed body bags from wars. Not pretending they can not fuck up the more important, less violent, smarter gender.
They aren't capable.
I'm the same goddamn person, and I'm only dating for love with other woman. Men are for money or status (if you cant get it yourself).
I would just go ahead and tell it upfront that they're only wanting you after losing weight and tell them that they didn't give a damn before.
I can understand some of what you're going through. When I was going through puberty I was objectively fugly as hell. I was tormented for my big butt, and chubbiness which was mainly concentrated on my lower body and chest (hourglass). Being stick thin is a beauty standard in my home country, hour glass figures were only more acceptable around 2018 due to Western influence. It was just awkward going through puberty from 12 till 18, honestly I was just weird looking. However, once I was done with puberty and everything had settled at 19, my features changed for the better, I don't know what happened but my looks just did a 180 on me and I did slim down a bit. In high school boys either ignored me or rated me as negative numbers out of ten. I considered fat and ugly. But honestly becoming pretty and slimming down after puberty didn't make things better. Men started being falsely nice with the intention to trick and mistreat me. And when I went back to my hometown to attend a family wedding, the high school boys who wouldn't even acknowledge my existence were suddenly falling over themselves to talk to me and ask me out. From someone who went from ugly duckling to swan, I will die on the hill that pretty privilege does not exist. Being pretty puts a target on your back for abuse and violence from men. I would rather men went back to treating me like I don't exist or calling me ugly. It's way better than what I have had to endure for being considered attractive. I've had obsessive stalkers, diagnosed narcissistic men , and just men using me for status to show off to other men. It's been terrible to the point that I'm lucky to be alive.
If anything, being fat really opened my eyes to how males can be horrible. Never have I thought that they actually loved me for me but I would only be noticeable if I gave them an erection. It's either hate or lust . It hurt when women did that too until I understood what internalized misogyny is. Sending love
It's helpful to think these dudes have a lot of problems with themselves. I mean, there's zero cost to being kind and polite. Zero. To be mean and cruel, you really need to be fucked up piece of shit.
My theory is that either they hate fat people because they were rejected by someone who was fat and now they project that onto everyone. Or someone fat treated them badly. Can be even their own mother. It's not uncommon for some women to treat their kids like garbage bags. I know someone like, whose mother was beating him for any stupid reason when he was a child. She's a morbidly obese woman, who treats all her 4 kids like punching bags, now that she's old and incapacitated, mostly verbal. One of her kids is my friend, I also know her brother and he used to be like that. Luckily they both went to therapy and he understands where it came from. But even now sometimes when he sees a person in a shape similar to his mother, he starts shaking. However he was never cruel, he just stayed away as much as possible and made it known to not get close to him. I totally get it because I met their mother and she's the biggest piece of thrash I have known in my entire life. She probably goes through a lot, there's no way to be this obese (400 pounds) and not have serious problems but as a grown up, it's your responsibility to get help.
Saying that, the only cruel dude to me was my own (ex) partner. I could never understand why, because when we started being together I was perfectly normal and not even slightly fat. I just didn't look like heroin chick, meaning I wasn't underweight, in his head this was overweight. For years I was exercising and dieting, which led me to ED.
After breakup I lost some weight, not really a lot to notice the difference but I do feel attractive now. My ex still thinks I am fat but I realized he's probably closeted gay. He hates everything feminine.
He cheated on me with a woman twice my size, this I will never understand...