Hello!
I'm looking for ways to become better at fostering new connections with people, and I find that I am severely struggling with the small talk/getting to know you phases of relationships. Now I typically do ok in social relationships, but within my coworkers/academic peers, I am really struggling to have a positive impression. My default in situations where there is a 'hierarchy' is less speaking is better, but I find that leaves a cold/hard to approach perception which I feel like it is reducing my opprotunities. Does anyone have any recommendations oh how to deal with this? Literature to read? Thanks!
If you can't be interesting, be interested.
Ask questions about other people — what they're up to this weekend, books/movies/tv shows they're currently watching, next vacation spot etc. These topics are light and everyone can join into the conversation. As you practice this skill, it'll feel more natural and organic.
How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie.
Although millennial pink gave good advice. People love talking about themselves, if you let them do that it's the first step to a friendship. Remember their names and details about what they say.
Basically personality mirroring and showing interest in the person you're talking to.
Ask people about themselves. Ask leading questions, not questions that can be answered with just "yes" or "no". Small talk: the weather is always popular. If there are a lot of potholes in the sidewalk or there was just an earthquake the next town over or a big movie just came out, like something newsworthy that they might want to talk about, that's not a bad idea although if you don't know the person well it might be advantageous to stay away from really controversial topics.