When I was in my One Direction stan phase many years ago, my father told me unprompted that I had "high standards". I felt offended at that. He didn't elaborate, but conceded; "It's not a bad thing. You just do."
We were driving somewhere for an errand and I was stuck in shotgun, the silence only being evaded by a "Take Me Home" CD I'd put in the stereo.
I couldn't understand how telling me I had high standards wasn't an insult. He would also say I was high maintenance, and so I retorted I wasn't. I was a highschooler who had never dated anyone at the time. How would he know? Why did it bother me so much?
Discovering FDS in the past year or so had been helpful for multiple reasons. And after going through multiple posts, the book, and this particular forum, I can finally tell you that the reason I hated being told I had high standards was because THEY WEREN'T. I didn't have any.
I was an impressionable, low-self-esteem teenager those many years ago. The first and only time I had ever been asked out (at that point) was as a joke just before an 8th grade end-of-the-year formal. I cried twice; once after realizing why his friends snickered at me in the hallway, and a second before putting my mascara on, accepting I didn't have a date to the formal like all of my other friends.
My father assumed I had high standards because I listened to boy bands and said I was going to marry Niall Horan. He assumed I wanted someone rich and handsome and talented, and that I'd be that person to lock eyes with a famous singer in a crowd and he'd swoon immediately.
Firstly, I wouldn't reject any of those things, but that's not the point. Because what my father saw were superficial descriptions of a celebrity crush, and that I was single in highschool, obviously because I rejected every boy in my year. No dad, nobody was asking me out.
All in all, I wanted to marry my boybanders because I listened to their songs about how much they love their SO, and thought that these guys would be nice to me, if they knew I existed.
That was it.
Today, I have high standards. I don't go around parading that, but I'm also not shy about it either. Simply put, I'm able to reject a man if he's not my type because I no longer hold the mentality that I'm too ugly or unworthy of love and respect.
I also still listen to boy bands, and I'm not ashamed of that either. Part of it is nostalgia, another part are the catchy sounds, and another part is a reminder to myself; Surely there is someone out there that will be kind to me, even if I haven't found it yet.
So no wonder so many girls like boy bands. It was almost as if it was the first time they could see themselves being respected by a man, over some scrawny pubescent who thinks he's the shit for playing basketball.