A date yesterday got me thinking about a grim summer experience. The guy I met yesterday told me he'd been ghosted and it reminded me of my own brush with creepy Casper.
The icky feelings and the shock all came back and I wanted to get this down to see if I can apply some FDS sense to it all. I posted on a different forum back when it happened and was whined at by a lot of posters for never contacting this dude first/a load of pickmes saying I should have contacted HIM. I reckon you ladies will be a kinder and more sensible tribe.
I (32F) was involved with a M42 guy for roughly 5 weeks. I can now see the red flags with total clarity and we matched on hinge after weeks of boring chat with other NVMs and I was just about losing the will to continue OLD.
Then this dude pops up. Handsome. Looking for something long-term. Had a kid. He messaged saying he was about to give up OLD until he stumbled on my profile (I wasn't convinced). So bearing in mind I wasn't familiar with FDS at this point, here's how it went:
on hinge he tells me he 'likes to be in control' hmm, interesting info to volunteer
He invites me to a beach to walk our dogs the following night. In hindsight I think this was a LV move and I should have declined. Plus it was a scummy beach 🚩
He turns up and is ridiculously handsome. Loads of eye contact. Asks tonnes of searching questions about what I'm looking for. We end up making out heavily in the car park outside the pub where we'd moved on to. He made a comment about my ass 🚩 (when I write this down it gets worrrrrse)
we have a second, very lengthy date that involves DTD. I know better now but hey, it had been a while! In case it's useful info his penis was the smallest thing I'd ever seen and my friends and I now refer to him as mini milk
He's calling me every day. He's saying things that I laugh off as he's referring to where 'we' will live etc. i take all of this with a pinch of salt because I knew a love bomber. Plus he was bitter about both his mum AND his ex wife who fleeced him for everything (apparently) and abducted his kid 🚩🚩
He insists on me staying at his and working from his home the night he takes me for my birthday meal (his instigation). I noticed a little irritation from him when my bag contents spilled on his driveway 🚩
The following week he comes to stay at mine for the first time. Here I really notice his irritation with my dog in particular. 🚩 The odd snide remark appears. 🚩 Nonetheless he tells me that his mum was asking about me, that he'll come over and fix this thing in my kitchen/my interior design skills are so good la lala
That same weekend he wants me to head to his place. He cooks us a meal, we watch a film and have some drinks. I wake up early in the morning to go to the gym and kiss him goodbye
Perhaps the worst part of this was that I was starting to open up to this guy a little more as it had appeared we were moving towards something more permanent. And then POOF. Off he fucked with his minuscule penis (sorry not sorry).
I suspect he is a player/someone with narc traits and I know he is a waste of my time but it hurt like HELL.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? How did you make sense of it?