Hi all,
I met someone last summer through bumble bff that I hung out with a few times last year. We both had quite a few similar interests, and I liked that she was someone who didn't text a lot, and we would spend time together irl and talk. I really liked her but I haven't seen her since last year. She doesn't have any social media so the only way I have to contact her is through text.
Anyway, one of the last times I saw her she mentioned she did ice skating when she was younger and said she would be interested in going sometime if I was. We went to a movie and then got lunch the next time I saw her and I thought we both had fun, but that was the last time I saw her. In December I reached out and asked if she wanted to go to an open skate that week but she said she was sick and she'll let me know when she was feeling better to do that. I told her to feel better and then that was it. I haven't heard anything from her since then. I've been pretty busy and wondering if I should reach out again now that I have some more time. I've actually been thinking about it for a while but I didn't want to be pushy with her since she said she'd reach out when she was better. What do you all think?
Remember that relationships/friendships are a two way street. Both parties need to put in the effort. If you want to reach out to her, go ahead but if she doesn’t plan to meet and gives another reason not to, I wouldn’t reach out again. I’m forgiving if it’s a woman so they get a chance with me but if she doesn’t put the same energy back then I will let this go
I am experiencing this now with a potential new friend. I initiated and we made lunch plans. She was tired and canceled day-of. I initiated again, we planned dinner, and she again canceled day-of, again saying she was busy/tired. When I have a friend cancel twice, I give them the benefit of the doubt, but put it in their court. I tell them to reach out when it’s a good time for them. (With a man/dating prospect, it would be simply block & delete). Usually they will not reach out again, and I avoided a one-sided friendship. Sometimes it really was a bad time for them, and they reach out in the future.
So in your case, I would say you could give it one last attempt if you feel very compelled, but keep your expectations low and allow her to do the slow fade if she’s not willing and able to put in the effort to be friends with you.
She might be thinking about getting in touch with you too, and she might be beating herself up for never getting back to you in December. Or maybe she's intending to ghost you.
I think it's worth it to try once more.