Met a potential new female friend last week and I just blocked her tonight. This is a huge step for me, a recovering codependent people pleaser.
She is juuuust beginning her healing journey and really needs to take time to herself to sort out the dating mess she exited two weeks ago. I've been single since 2018 so I'm in a completely different place. I've dragged myself through hell and back to heal and still have a long way to go.
I went in open minded but cautious.
She didn't do anything outright offensive or throw up red flags, but my spider sense has been telling me the vibes are off. There were yellow flags and things that didn't sit right with me, and I didn't gaslight myself or get swept up in the excitement of a potential new friend to pal around with.
Instead, I went in with clear eyes (full heart, can't lose lol) and examined both hang outs afterwards.
Something just didn't feel right and I wasn't going to stick around and find out.
I trusted my gut and blocked.
My usual pattern would be to get swept up in the excitement of a new friend (we're the same age! we have stuff in common! we live near-ish each other!), hang out a lot, give tons of unreciprocated emotional labour and time, then get resentful and pull back, thus causing confusion on their part, guilt on mine.
But this time, I trusted my gut without concrete "evidence" to prove this friendship wasn't right for me. I have an inkling of how it would have turned out given where she is in her recovery (hint: me as her unpaid therapist while she emotionally abuses me).
Something just didn't feel right.
I want and deserve friends who are healthy. I met a friend of a friend last month and she was awesome. It was very helpful to juxtapose her and this new lady I met. It was night and day. My instinct and subconcious know what's up.
A huge thank you to FDS, because I know I wouldn't have trusted my instinct in this situation had it not been for this group.
Always trust your gut!
I've regretted everytime I hadn't and the friend turned out to be malicious and caused me tons of stress!
Your intuition never lies