"To our generation, being a mom looks thankless, exhausting, and lonely. Can we change the story?
Birthrates in America have declined across racial and ethnic groups over the past 15 years, decreases driven not only by people having fewer children but also by those waiting to have any children at all, many deeply torn about the idea.
The very idea of becoming a parent has grown more politically fraught. Republican politicians are doubling down on explicit endorsements of childbearing, the kind that Democrats increasingly see as at odds with reproductive freedom and valuing families of all kinds.
On top of this, there is the well-documented aversion many millennials feel about making any sort of commitment, so conditioned are we to leave our personal and professional options open. One need not squint to see the connections to having kids — it’s the ultimate pledge, more enduring even than many marriages."
I'm not surprised. In the US, we don't even have mandatory federal maternity leave, children care, our work-life balance is shit, hardly any sick days or adequate PTO...it all depends on your employer. I'm jealous if other countries especially in Europe who have it better than we do in the states.
https://www.vox.com/features/23979357/millennials-motherhood-dread-parenting-birthrate-women-policy
I am 32 and cannot imagine having a child. Even with a responsible partner doing their share. I earn a six figure salary and live in a high rent area and stay in a 1 bedroom apartment. My current financial goals include maxing out my 401K, increasing income so my rent is less than 30% of my after tax income, and achieving 1 year of expenses divided between my high yield savings account and US savings bonds. And having additional money so I can travel to see family, afford a nice vacation once per year, and tackle unexpected expenses.
So financially, I feel like it isn’t responsible though I realize I’d also count on another persons income. I also admit I could lower my standard of living and move to some suburb or get a roommate. Which sounds super unappealing.
But even doing so, then I have to examine my time. I have severe ADHD and struggle a lot to keep up with chores and work related duties. I feel like I am often struggling to follow through on work assignments. For me - having a child is simply the irresponsible move. There is no way I can juggle that responsibility with work and household duties. I also have hobbies I want to take on that seem more fun than taking care of a baby.
ALSO - my parents at some point will need caregiving (dad is disabled and mom takes care of him). If something happened to my mom, then hiring a caregiver is super expensive if you don’t want to do it yourself. So on top of everything, I have to make sure that I am in a position to financially support them if their retirement runs out and they need caregiving (and I don’t want to do it).
Let’s not forget about healthcare and how a simple surgery can fuck up your finances forever if you don’t have enough savings.
The list goes on ….