of the same age range. I was sort of taken aback by him mentioning it, but he went on to say it's not like it was an incel/misogynistic article and he's on my side always. He said the study reads that a lot of men in their 20s have replaced real sex with porn use and that he found that sad. + said men need to get their shit together. Said women just generally get into more relationships than men and some women tend to date older. Said it made sense, but thinks it's sad that our society is not well adjusted enough to just date people our own age.
My own comments included things like it's sad that even if women are having more sex, we are receiving less orgasms. - a lot of the times because of how selfish men are in bed and porn use further teaches men to only care about themselves. He said he agrees, but also think it's just biologically more difficult for women to orgasm. I responded if that's true, it's still no excuse for men to not try to figure it out and he said that I'm right about that.
He seemed to almost not believe though that most men are not thoughtful in bed and claimed that maybe i look at things glass half empty or I'm "jaded" because I've been hurt by the wrong men so much in my youth. I looked at him and said I'm just trying to be realistic and protective of myself. Before I became "jaded", men would take advantage of me. He took that word back and said if he were me and went through my experiences, he'd actually hate men so much more than I do and that he sees that I don't in spite of how cautious I've become around males. I said again that I think and have experienced that more men are self serving than he realizes before dropping it.
I said I find age gaps predatory, then he asked me if I think there's any thing wrong with a guy in his 30s dating a woman in her 20s. I quickly pointed out that yeah, especially if she's 20 and he's 30. He said he thinks so too and feels after 25 is when it isn't so creepy. (I sort of still find it potentially creepy after 25 and not the best idea.) 5 - 7 years older feels like a limit for me in my 20s, more than that concerns me. And I've heard how age gap relationships still are tough for women after their 20s as older men begin to expect their younger woman to take care of them (nurse and a purse I think was the term I've seen on FDS).
Any how. I don't know why this convo kind of left me feeling the ick a little?? Maybe I just didn't understand what point he was trying to make by bringing up the article? I have sexual trauma so I was naturally sensitive on the topic as I'm sure some guys read that statistic and use it to make misogynistic points. I don't feel like he was intending to use it that way and sounded more like he was interested or just trying to be observational. Yet something still felt a bit off about the convo.
Maybe I'm tripping out and overthinking it. Maybe I just have the ick from thinking about how fucked up sex relations can be between men and women? He did tell me he's sad for men who use porn to fill an empty void, but wasn't trying to feel sorry for them in a "poor men" way + agrees with me that a lot of the times, "men are the problem". So perhaps I don't have to worry about it? I'm sorry, I don't know why him bringing up that article had me feeling so strange.
More sex does not automatically equate with more sexual satisfaction.
It really is that simple.