WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop trying to start bullsh*t in the comment section because I have no patience to deal with you.
Originally posted in FDS subreddit. All rights reserved to the original writer.
MAN-PROOF YOUR FINANCES OR GET DESTROYED...
💰 STATS 💰
Women are disproportionately affected by relationship economics
Unfortunately, about half of families in the US experience poverty after a divorce, and 75% of all women who apply for Welfare benefits do so because of a disrupted marriage or relationship in which they lived with a man out of wedlock.
Gender Pay Gap
We already know that women make 80 cents to each dollar a man earns in the United Stares, and it’s even lower for women of color. This puts women at a disadvantage to start.
Women are getting “stuck” financially after splitting up; especially if they were low income to begin with
According to the Marriage and Religion Research Institute: “Divorce is the main factor in determining the length of "poverty spells," particularly for women whose pre-divorce Family income was in the bottom half of the income distribution. Divorce, then, poses the greatest threat to women in low-income families. Moreover, almost 50 percent of households with children move into poverty following divorce. Simply put, divorce has become too prevalent and affects an ever-increasing number of children.,”
70% of the Nation's Poor are Women & Children
According to Legal Momentum: “Women in America are still 35 percent more likely than men to be poor in America, with single mothers facing the highest risk. Currently, 35 percent of single women with children live and raise their families in poverty.”
Be Strategic: If divorcing, leave no stone unturned, and don’t expect child support to cover all expenses
“Don’t forget to include the value of your spouse’s retirement plan, which you may or may not have been privy to during your marriage”. , says financial advisor Pedro M. Silva.
According to Sheri Atwood, founder and CEO of SupportPay, a child support payment app:
“Child support barely covers the basics:
By legal definition, base child support is only meant to cover basic living expenses, which we know doesn’t come close to the actual cost of raising a child,” . “Additional items such as child care, medical expenses, education and extracurricular activities … are typically called into question post-divorce.”
She explains that the expenses that fall outside that base monthly payment usually land on mothers (moms make up nearly 82 percent of parents with custody).
HOW TO MAKE MORE MONEY AND PROTECT YOUR FINANCES
💰 EARN MORE 💰
You Should Job Hop if You Want to Make More Money
Job hoppers aren’t just better workers, they’re better paid.
Unfortunately, there’s little way around the fact that switching jobs can mean a big career boost—both in terms of money and job title.
Although getting promoted and receiving annual or close to annual raises is often a natural step in the career-building process, these days so is switching jobs. The sweet spot is between two and five years.
Oliver Staley, writing for Quartz, discusses a study by ADP, the payroll processing company, which suggests that the largest salary increase occurs after two years at a company. Move on after that point, and you’re likely to garner higher wages from the next place you start working at. The study notes that staying longer than five years and then leaving for something else may mean less of a jump.
ALWAYS negotiate the initial salary offer for a new job
Women usually make the mistake of accepting the initial offer and failing to negotiate. Companies usually have some wiggle room for salary increases whenever they make a job offer to their top candidate, but women don’t take advantage of this often enough, leaving thousands of dollars on the table when accepting a job. Push for more - the worst they can say is no.
And learn to NEGOTIATE LIKE A WOMAN, ladies. We have so much difficulty negotiating because we only know negotiating like a man -- which is not natural for us, and make mastering this skill extremely difficult. But I've come to realize that women are a beast at negotiating with their feminine charm -- which is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than the corporate masculine negotiation that you know. I am still in the learning process for this, but I'll share the results once I got it.
Alternate sources of income - indulge in side hustles
Sell and resell product on Poshmark, Etsy, Amazon and the RealReal for extra cash on the side of your salary. It doesn’t take much time and effort to manage, but can add a few hundred bucks to your monthly income.
Real Estate- Single women are losing out in the housing market - Learn to buy lower & sell higher - Be more ruthless when negotiating
According to researchers from Yale School of Management: “We find that women purchase properties when they are listed at higher relative prices, and also choose to list for lower relative prices," write the researchers. "In addition, women negotiate worse discounts relative to the listing price."
The study controlled for age, listing agent, income, type of home, ethnicity, education and many other factors, and still found that overall, women are losing $1,370 per year on their homes, compared to men.
Skylar Olsen, director of economic research at Zillow, told CNBC:
“Single women are more likely to be parents than single men, and in general women are more likely to take other non-economic factors into consideration when buying or selling, like the type of house, how many bedrooms, proximity to good schools and so on, she says.
"Women may be more likely to be making household decisions that are not about a financial decision, but about a life decision," says Olsen. “
DON’T DO THIS. Buy low and sell HIGH always, as a rule, no matter what! Don’t be afraid of fixer-uppers!
💰 PROTECTION 💰
A general rule of thumb is that "if you have a few hundred thousand dollars [in assets], you should at least consider a prenup," says certified financial planner at Betterment Nick Holeman. "But in my experience working with clients, the big cause for actually needing a prenup isn't necessarily on the dollar amount."
Rather, "it's when there are unequal amounts coming in from the marriage."
In other words, if one member of the couple has a much higher income or significantly more assets than the other, it's worth considering a prenup. "When one person has way more than the other, that's where it gets a little dicey," says Holeman.
If you're both bringing in roughly equal amounts to the marriage, a prenup is "less needed, because it's more of an equal playing field between both spouses," says Holeman.
My advice: If your husband has huge potential to become very wealthy do not get a prenup. Example: Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and his wife of 25 years, MacKenzie.
Non Disclosure Agreements (NDA)
It could be a good idea to get an NDA if you're an up and coming heavy hitter in business or entertainment. Wikipedia defines NDAs as "a contract through which the parties agree not to disclose information covered by the agreement. An NDA creates a confidential relationship between the parties, typically to protect any type of confidential and proprietary information or trade secrets. As such, an NDA protects non-public business information." Chatty exes and their associates can sabotage your reputation and your earning potential if you eventually become well-known.
NBC senior business correspondent Stephanie Ruhle recommends the following financial steps for women:
Get involved, Ensure financial security, Put Assets in your name, get your own retirement plan, consider long term care insurance and life insurance.
Get Involved - even if you snagged a HVM who’s fully providing.
Know you’re situation! If you’re single, you should know your own financial standing and spend accordingly. This is even *more* critical if you mistakenly married LVM.
If you’re a stay at home mom that receives an allowance You should still KNOW everything in case there’s a divorce, death, severe illness.
Make sure you understand your taxes before signing them, as it is a legal document.
You should have a 401k if you’re working. Starting on your thirties, begin maxing out your contribution... it adds up quickly.
If you’re a stay at home mom and your spouse is working, he should have a spousal IRA so he can contribute on your behalf.
Women live longer than men and you should plan for this.
Get long term care insurance
for when you’re unwell.. especially if you have kids. There are so many families that are completely financially strapped due to long term care expenses for their elderly parents. Don’t do this to your children.
Get life insurance
God forbid anything should happen to your spouse, finances would be one less devastation to worry about.
Don’t give your power away
Even if you don’t particularly like “crunching the numbers” and your good-intentioned HVM hubby is a provider and protector who takes care of all the paperwork, bills, deeds, etc. : PLEASE STILL BE AWARE OF EVERYTHING.
SayNad's Comment: Note -- BE AWARE. Don't take over his responsibilities though because you will end up dealing with everything. Unless you really really really like doing those until the end of your life, just BE AWARE.
There shouldn’t be any secrets or surprises.
Even if you haven’t signed the paperwork, YOU’RE STILL ON THE HOOK IF THE BILLS AREN’T PAID AND THE COLLECTION AGENCIES COME KNOCKING.
You want to MAKE SURE your name is on the house, car, bills etc. even if he paid for them! These are shared assets.
Establish credit by ensuring everything is paid on time, every month. Don’t be blind sighted by bad credit, or no credit if he’s no longer around.
Establish your individual credit
Get a credit card in just your name, and pay the bill every month, on time and in full.
Controversial advice (take it or leave it): Have three bank accounts as a couple; One shared, and two individual. If he makes more money than you, he should be paying *more*, or ALL of the bills / expenses. PERIOD.
SayNad's Comment: If he wants you in his life, he should PAY ALL. PERIOD. Otherwise why have a relationship with a man?
🚨 DO NOT MARRY FINANCIALLY UNSTABLE MEN NO MATTER WHAT. THEY WILL EVENTUALLY RUIN YOU. 🚨
Financially Dependent Men are More Likely to Cheat
Studies show that men are most likely to cheat if they are economically dependent on their female partners. Men who make 25 percent more than their partners are the most faithful.
BEWARE OF THE BLUFF; TAKE HEED OF FINANCIAL RED FLAGS
If you’re just starting to date, run an investigation to see where he works, his title, and average salary for said title in his city.
Beware of men who ask you out to coffee or drinks dates, as they are probably strapped for cash and shouldn’t be dating.
LVM are irresponsible, and will not admit they’re not in a position to date... they will either try to get you to lower your standards, or bluff & pretend to be better off than they actually are.
Does he appear to be living above his means? Can he really afford that high rise luxury apartment downtown?
Men who are only making the minimum payments on their credit card will eventually run into trouble.
Also be cautious if he cares too much about materialistic things. If he asks about the brand name of your purse, shoes or car before asking about your goals, interests and family, RUN. His priorities are screwed up.
Money problems lead to divorce
According to a recent survey of 191 CDFA professionals from across North America, money issues is one of the top three leading causes of divorce.
LVM / NVM Lie about money and spending
We already know that you should never move in with a man before marriage.
An FDSer recently posted about her live-in boyfriend who told her that the rent was actually higher than it really was, so she paid what she thought was half each month and he pocketed the difference. He knowingly repeatedly STOLE her money and she only found out by chance.
Communicate clearly about finances (with HVM husband)
According to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts:
“Many couples lack the communication skills necessary to navigate financial disagreements in their marriage,” noted one respondent. “The emotional connection of money with safety and security in many people makes the financial disagreements more salient than other disagreements.”
WARNING: DO NOT SHARE YOUR EARNINGS OR INCOME INFORMATION WITH LVM / NVM EVER!!!
This is one of the worst & deadliest mistakes a woman can ever make.
This goes for ALL LVM / NVM I’m your life inclusive of ex boyfriends, friends, brothers, fathers, cousins and uncles.
BEWARE! And don’t TALK about your money to these people, or risk it disappearing. You can also risk your life, as many LVM are desperate and can become violent!
Good luck out there ladies! Take the blinders off and get control of the cash!
The handbook posts project.
Anyone who wants to contribute to this project, please puts [Handbook Posts:] in their title so there's a distinction. Also tag @SayNad so that I can find them.