Men move mountains for the women they love... they don't make excuses!

When men aren't treating you like a perfect gem....

They are going to be/are being BAD to you. There is no in between or gray area like we like to believe there is. Queen Shera puts it really nicely:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DI7BwhHi5kt/?igsh=MTgzZGFoZTF1d2libg==

When men don't like something they treat it like crap, ignore it, or throw a fit that they have to deal with it. When they truly love or enjoy something, they go out of their way to spend time with it and try to be the best at it.

Men's feelings toward a woman are no different.

There is no gray area with how a man feels about a woman. If he loves you, you will absolutely know it to furthest depths of your soul. There won't be a question, an inkling, or any wondering about why he isn't doing A, B, or C.... Men go FULL FORCE when they love somebody. They don't leave doubt in the person's mind. Could you imagine if he did that with a family member he truly loved and cherished? He wouldn't. He's a man. Those bonds he has with people he cares about mean something to him and he doesn't do things that would make them think otherwise. If he did do it to that cherished family member, the family member would KNOW that his feelings have changed and the bond is broken.

So why do we think it's soooo different when they are pursuing a woman? That so many things are "open to interpretation" and based on "how he was raised"? Screw that. We all know better. Men don't play around when they cherish something, whether it's a car, their favorite sport, their favorite album in their collection, or a beloved family member.

Men make shit happen when they love something and when they believe in it.

They'll change their whole diet and workout routine when they cherish creating a new image for themselves. They'll get up at 3 am in a blizzard to hit the weights at their local gym. They'll drive across the country to buy that one item in another state that they deem irreplaceable and worth it. They'll spend their last dollar to be best man in their best friend's wedding, even if it means they go broke and eat ramen for 5 months.

I've seen it time and time again. Men absolutely do no f around when they truly value something.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, when they don't like something they get slippery about it like an eel. If they don't feel like helping that cousin he doesn't care about out with his car again, he won't answer his phone. If he doesn't give a shit about the guy in the friend group's problems, he won't answer the phone and won't be there for him. If he doesn't feel like dealing with the head cold he has, he will pass the care taker work off to someone else or totally ignore that he is sick and walk around with a runny nose like a gross troll.

If he's become your eel, slipping and sliding out of the things he SHOULD be doing for you (doesn't even matter what it is), then this guy is treating you like shit. Plain and simple. If you've said it once and he didn't listen, it's because he doesn't care about you and he's treating you like shit. Drop the "am I being too sensitive" and see it for what it is. He WOULD NOT trouble the bond with anyone he really cared about. It's funny how emotionally intelligent men "become" when it comes to understanding somebody they truly love. All of the sudden they can read between the lines. All of the sudden they understand emotions. All of the sudden they can pick up on subtleties.

This is the nature of men. They get to be this way because the world complies with however they are feeling toward.... well anything. They can slip out of anything they don't care about or that just feels "icky" to them and the world follows suit. Brock Turner felt a little icky about getting caught with his disgusting rape and you know what the world let him do? Follow his victim around to college campuses to talk about how "alcohol is a bad idea." Not that his rape was a bad idea and that he is a bad guy. No no. And the government and judges and almost everyone else followed suit.

Men can and DO do whatever they want. And if he wanted to love you and treat you right, he absolutely would. Even further, he will want to SERVE you. If you've never experienced this before, understand that this is how it will feel. You will not do without. You will not feel alone. He will go above and beyond for you.

If he doesn't, he is treating you like shit and you need to wake up. Yes, it actually is that black and white.

Men's actions toward you don't have a LIMBO or a purgatoire. He's either treating you like shit or he's making sure he isn't fucking up with you, every single minute of every single day.

Men absolutely do not gamble with the things that they love. They don't risk losing cherished items or losing bonds with beloved family and friends. Their dating lives are no different and they treat women no different...

You're either the ick he is trying to slip out of having any accountability for, or you are the one he would spend his last cent on. You're either the entertainment doll that he could do without, or you are the cherished lover he would drop ANYTHING for.

Men are extremist by nature. If you feel "in between" and feel "he has to get to know you" you're wrong. Men know and decide this almost immediately upon meeting us. So don't waste your time if you don't see it right away. He should be in awe of you (usually followed by a dumbfounded look on his face and a willing eagerness to uplift you and your life in general) basically immediately. It will be written all over his face and expressed through his actions. These are the only men you should pay any attention to at all. They know early on and you need to be smart enough to spot it just as quickly as they decide it.