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You can read the basics about foundational investment here: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/s/KjAOrL6BCu
In addition to this, here are some things you'll never want to experience as the pickmeisha who settled for less:
1️⃣ Everybody and their grandmother is judging you and your relationship if you look poorly kept together. It's not fair and I don't make the rules, but trust me..... they are.
2️⃣ Both men AND women are eyeing your relationship up and down for cracks and they judge that by how much your man is investing in you (usually monetary commodities like jewelry, your car but also by how well-kept, well-rested, and unstressed you look - see link above).
Men see that you aren't being well taken care of and think:
Her own man doesn't even respect her, why should I? She's easy to snag, obviously. I have a chance at her! And trust me sisters... they will try in larger numbers if they think you are easy pickings and that you settle for bare minimum.
Women see that you aren't being well taken care of and think:
He obviously doesn't care about her... He is free game for me to try something with (and trust me, they will).
Part of growing up is realizing people who come around you two are going to be snakes like this. It's just the way the world is. Even if your man is seemingly HV (how can he be if you look disheveled and unkempt, though?), you two will be battling a bunch of rats thinking they have a chance to demolish your relationship.
3️⃣ You will get treated worse at work and you won't be able to flourish at your job. The rumor mill will be popping with gossip about how you are treated and people will think your standards for everything are low, not just for relationships. The man you choose is a reflection of your self worth and the world knows this... and snakes at work will use that to their advantage.
4️⃣ When you interview for jobs in cheap clothing looking not well put together and not well taken care of, companies will think they can lowball your salary.... and they will.
5️⃣ It's just embarrassing when you are struggling and the couple next to you are headed to Aruba for a week. Meanwhile, your cheap dude forgot for the last 6 months that you even like flowers.
6️⃣ When/if he proposes, the ring will be cheap which everyone will be eyeing and making all the assumptions above; ie, he doesn't really care about you and you don't really care about yourself (both correct if you settle for a dude who has no $$$ and doesn't fully upkeep you).
We talk a lot about the struggles women go through with how the world views them when they are single, but getting a partner means a whole new set of struggles in how the world is viewing you, your partner, and your relationship.
Trust me, you don't want to be Embarassed Emily out here with everyone thinking they have a chance to mess with you, your dude, or your relationship as a whole.
When he's investing in you consistently and you look pampered and happy, most people understand your relationship is pretty untouchable and stay in their lane.
It's funny how pickmes and scrotes pretend money doesn't matter, yet it's the first thing the whole world is using to judge how solid your relationship is (even if subconsciously) before you two even open your mouths.
You should have better looking clothes after getting with him, jewelry as nice investment gifts he is giving you, upkeep on any payments you want him to help with, your hair should be in tip top shape, you should have higher quality items entering your life, and any items you are lacking or want should come flooding in from him.
I can almost keep up on all of the things I need and want, so a man coming in needs to take all of that to the next level for me. Your life should improve by leaps and bounds. Good men understand it's expensive to have a good woman around and they're happy to do it. In fact, outside of the basics they are already doing for you, they'll also talk through their wallets when they actually care about you. Again, I don't make the rules. It is just what they do and what I've lived.
You want the man who makes you look pampered, stress free, and heavily invested in. The world is hard enough. You don't need all the snakes who are going to show up in your lives thinking they have an "in" and you don't need anyone, anywhere believing that your self worth is low enough to accept bare minimum. Trust me, they're ALL dissecting this guy's level of investment in you and thinking of ways to scam if they see cracks.
I used to be really hippy, free spirited in my 20s. "Money doesn't matter" as I dated a rich guy... LOL. When I hit my 30s and had a few rounds with broke men, my GAWD, embarrassment was through the roof and I had nothing to show for my time with them when they acted like idiots and I had to dump them. It should be EXPENSIVE to spend time with you, because sisters.... money DOES matter and the faster you realize that the better.
Money talks and everyone knows it!
Even the scrotes and pickmes who claim it doesn't are eyeballing you and your man and checking for whether or not he invests in (ie. CARES about) you. Imagine having kids or something with a broke or stingy dude. Accidents happen, plan all you want... but you truly never know what will happen. Many fantastic women's lives were uprooted by accidental pregnancies and the only 100% effective birth control is still abstinence, unfortunately. So when you are vetting, always ask yourself how this guy would pack your bags for the hospital and how he will pamper you if you get pregnant. Even if you plan on being CF, this is a good visualization vetting tool.
Money and his investment in you matters.
Get your gifts, get your investments, get pampered, and avoid stingy men and the slough of problems they are going to bring into your life like they are an insidious disease. Just picture them with herpes on their lips or something. Makes it a lot easier. 😂
Sigh I miss FDS on Reddit. Gals, the mods deserted this place. Let’s make a private Reddit sub, I have one Reddit sub and I can make it private having FDS content only like this post.
Money matters because that’s all they have to offer. Remove money and what do you have left? His conditional love, his audacity, his pigsty behavior. Money is the only thing that compensates having a man around.
This post should be pinned so that all women who visit the site and land on the forum's first page will see it.
Let's put it this way. There is only one of us who have been taken to court for launching an actual smear campaign and stalking someone... and it wasn't me. Good luck with all of it. Looks like you are really working hard to be better.
There is a reason poor people have poorer-quality relationships, on average, than higher-earning people do.
Working-class/poor people nowadays in the U.S. either don't marry or divorce at higher rates than middle-class people do. Poor people build poor relationships.
I blocked you and made it clear I was done with you. It's not a smear campaign when I opt out of contact with you and never talk about you, hun. That's not how it works. It's also not a smear campaign when it is true. Good try, though, LOL.
I agree that a man should spoil me, but I am already spoiling myself. Scrote is competing with me.