Getting a lot of ads and hearing a lot of talk lately pushing for therapy when really it's not always necessary and can actually push the pickme mindset instead.
Reminder that not all therapists are a good fit for you and some of them are pickmes who will prey on your vulnerability and get you to lower your standards using the narrative of "healing, growing, trusting, opening up". Lvm are now targeting women and preying on our desires to level up, heal, and grow by saying we need therapy. It's a massive neg. They're ultimately trying to get us scares thinking we have these deep issues that require professional help in order to have a healthy relationship when really the problem is still and always will be LVM.
The trendy things right now are the attachment styles. There's 4: secure, disorganized, anxious, and avoidance. For avoidance, its marked by not trusting people, pushing away during relationships and intimacy, opting for casual instead, and being hyper independent.
The red pilled and pickmes are now trying to call hvw who vet, have standards, and stay on our toes as being "avoidant" and "needing therapy" when these are not the same things. Being cautionous, watching for red flags, and not being love bombed or dumping trauma does not mean you are avoidant. If you've read the gift of fear, you know there is value in having apprehension and listening to your gut. When it comes to romance we are very vulnerable and we need to be very careful.
Just like scrotes weaponizing on their "love language" being touch or acts of service to brainwash you into being a bangmaid, they'll weaponize attachment theory to confuse your standard vetting and apprehension as a personality disorder or unhealthy attachment style. It's an extreme neg basically calling you defective. You'll hear the "that's why you're single, you just won't open up. You got issues from childhood, etc". And now simply being single and a grown adult is being called "hyper independent" and looked at like you have a serious issue or trauma when you're simply being an adult who pays her bills and takes care of her issues and takes herself out, like healthy adults should.
This post isn't to shame anyone or demonize therapy - It is a cautionary post made to highlight how men and pickmes will neg and gaslight you into believing that doing regular adult things as a woman who is leveling up is "defective". Therapy can actually be a wonderful and helpful resource provided that you have found a good therapist. Lvm don't understand therapy though and hope that just showing up will fix everything and also hope that the woman gets knocked down a peg and reset into pickme/bangmaid mode. They'll even say "you should try therapy I care about you" as virtue signaling and to act like a nice guy.
Before entering relationships you should be comfortable being single, you should have a group of solid friends or family, your own hobbies, and you should be fairly happy. It's never a good idea to seek relationships when you're going through some serious things or in a funk. And when you date, you should be vetting, you should be cautious, you should move a little slowly. You should set boundaries and "have expectations" that he does HVM stuff. You should both still have your own lives rather than being codependent or love bombing. You should always stick to your standards and run when you see the red flags or deal breakers.
You don't need therapy for simply being a grown HVW. 💯
This post is gold. Should be in the handbook